In one weeks time I am moving out of your city. I live on a crowded street with dicey parking. So, in order to secure a spot for my moving truck I went to your Parking Authority office to get a sign that would allow me to save my space.
I was prepared to give you my $3 for the No Parking sign, but it was then that I was informed I needed a moving permit. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi, I need a No Parking Sign so I can park a moving truck.
Parking Lady: Are you moving out or in?
Me: Out
PL: Okay, I need to see your moving permit.
Me: I need a permit?
PL: Yes, only if you are moving out of the city or within the city. If you were moving into the city then you wouldn't need one.
Me: Oh. Well, where can I get a moving permit?
PL: You'll need $3 and go to the Police building at 4th and court.
See, she was very nice and helpful. At this point I'm at 6th and Linden. It's 1:18pm and I need to be at Troxel school by 2pm for my son's speech therapy. I will barely have enough time to traipse through the crowded one-way streets to get it done. I decide I'll get the permit today and come back for the parking sign. I navigate over to 4th street, I am now out of loose change so I opt for your lovely new parking garage. I will now have to pay $1 to park for 15 minutes of time.
I wander around for a few seconds and finally find the hole in the ground that is your police station. For the next 5 minutes a cop behind the glass stares at me and plays with her thumbs while having a casual conversation with another cop. I am not waiting in line I am waiting at the empty window. After she is good and ready to deal with me, she comes over and asks me what I need. I inform her that I need a moving permit. Her response:
"I need $3 exact change." "No check?" "No"
And out I walk. I don't carry cash. I put Josh on my back and run back to the parking lot pay my $1 fee and drive out. I make it to speech at exactly 2:00pm. Josh runs into class in an attempt to conquer his stutter. I am left in the hallway to mull over the fact that I spent an hour navigating downtown Allentown and had nothing good come of it.
A moving permit? Only to move out!? I needed one to move into Upper Macungie. I thought it was silly then, but they gave me a welcome packet filled with all kinds of resources. I had to go to a nice clean municipal building where the people were very friendly. You sent me to the dank dungeon of the police building where your cop was less then friendly. And why exact change? Cash only? Thanks for making the simple more complicated.
I will try again today. This time I will have my money. I will have change for the meters. And I am sure your people will still ignore me for as long as they please. And on June 16 when we sign the papers and hand over the keys I will say goodbye with a grand smile.
Sincerely,
Me
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