the joy of listening

Two years ago I started an experiment with my kids. That experiment is still running. I was on a quest to see if I could tolerate audio books in the car. My commute to work is 20 minutes each way and I thought (after years of my mom-the-librarian singing their praises) that maybe I could work my way through a book or two and fill the time with something other than radio chatter.

The book I picked was Book 1 from the Chronicles of Narnia. What I learned was yes, I could listen to a book in the car. Yes, I would miss some parts of the story for the sake of driving safely, but I could enjoy the book just the same.

The thing about the experiment was the unintended consequences or side-effects. Four days a week I would pick up my kids from school and when I began the book I let it play out while they were in the car. Right away I was hammered with questions. So I stopped the book and told them all that happened so far. Then we listened to the story. On the third day, they asked me to "make the story wait for them" so they wouldn't miss any more. At the end of the week I realized something, the car was silent (save for the audio book).

When we finished the first book my kids begged for me to get the next one. And then the next one. And the one after that. Seven books over the course of weeks of driving from school to home, to church, to the store, anywhere we went the story played. The only rule was that all four kids have to be in the car in order to play the story. The car transitioned from a noisy, frustrating experience to a calm and quiet place. Order had been restored to my minivan.

A year and a half later and we are still at it. We have listened to the entire Chronicles of Narnia, The Sisters Grimm series, Harry Potter books 1-4, Lemony Snicket Books 1-3, The first two Percy Jackson books, Septimus Heap books 1-3, and many others. Every car ride is met with a story. Every car ride is as peaceful as can be.

There's something else happening that only took me a few months to figure out. My kids were becoming more and more excited about the stories. They would be crushed when the car turned off at the hight of the story, they would giggle about the funny parts, and best of all the began to speculate on what would happen next.

My kids love books. They love to read. They love to listen. But most of all I think they love to dive into the adventures with both feet. Josh (8) is not the strongest reader, but I am not worried. I'm not worried because he's the one who comes to me and talks about the stories we listen to. He tells me his favorite characters, what he thinks will happen next, he thinks about the words, processes the story and gets it. So he may not be a fluent reader, but the part that matters more is weather he understands what he reads. I think over time he will become a stronger reader, for now though he can still enjoy his stories.

They all can. They can enjoy the books. I can enjoy the peace. 

Reflections of a Mom and Teacher

It's been two years since the last time I visited my blog. I don't know how that happens but it does. So let's start with a quick update of what has happened in two years.

- Catherine and Joshua both wear glasses
- All kids love to read - though Josh is the hardest to find books for
- Discovered audio books are the key to quiet car rides
- Stephen, David, and Joshua all have received First Holy Communion
- Cat transitioned to Middle school
- We've been to Myrtle Beach, Disney, Cape May, and other small adventures along the way.
- I began Grad school, and am 1 year (3 classes) away from completion.
- I left my job at St. Mikes and now work as a Technology Facilitator for Southern Lehigh School District.
- Current ages of the kids Cat 11, Stephen 8, David 8, Joshua 8.

There is so much more that we have experienced but I can't remember it all. For now I want to explore some things that are on my mind.

Yesterday I took my kids to the Trexler Game Preserve. We didn't stay long because (as per my usual) I didn't plan very well and we got there late and had to leave early. I still in the 2 hours we were there learned a few things.

First I started the day with taking my kids to Mass. Cat and Steve are altar servers. These 8am masses can be seen as a burden, but I enjoy being "forced" to get up and go. I know I should make 8am masses a part of my regular routine, but I never seem to make it work. My kids service to church helps. Starting the day in prayer ought to make for a good day right?

Well we got home and Cat was cranky (she does not do well when you interrupt her sleep). We had breakfast and I asked Cat to go cool down in her room before we sort out our plans for the day. In need of space myself I retreated to the basement to work on some sewing projects. Whenever I sew my kids come and see what I am working on and ask questions.

Reflection 1 - What can be learned from sewing?
Cat had helped me make some neck pillows. When she began, I told her the first rule was to not worry about making mistakes. If it's a bad one we may have to start over but that's okay, because then you know better what to do. Most mistakes can be corrected along the way. Just keep going. When it's all done look back, what worked? what didn't work? what will you change?

Isn't that the way we should approach learning? Embrace your mistakes. Fail. Reflect. Try again. I feel as though teachers don't embrace failure as a good thing. Student's have too much pressure that they don't know how to fail. I'm not saying we should cheer a failing test grade. But if a student gets 10 math problems wrong in a row, can we not stop and say "Okay, something is missing. How can we fill in the gap?" rather than simply say, study harder you should have known those answers! Instead of allowing the child to feel bad about themselves, can we say it's okay, you can try again. Sure some accountability on the students part needs to exist, but it can't always be a pass fail mentality. I think there has to be a greater push on growth and success. That student will learn more and succeed if we stop and help them see their mistakes, embrace them, and learn from them.

As I was finishing up Cat came down to visit, she was frustrated because I allowed her brothers to help stuff some of the pillows (she wanted to do them all) while she was gone. I diverted and tasked her with logging her books for summer reading in preparation for a library trip.

Reflection 2 - Why I participate in the library summer program.
Every summer I truck my kids to the library. The select their books sometimes with reckless abandon, sometimes with great care. They run home and read logging their minutes as they go. The following week they return their books and grab the next stop. Before leaving they stop at the desk and ask for their prizes. Wait - What? Yep my library and most others bribe kids into summer reading. I don't know what the magic number is, but for every block of reading (we think it's between 1-2 hours) they get a prize. The prizes are crap, mike and ikes, silly putty, broken flashlights, stickers, etc but the kids love the crap they claim. They also stop at the puzzle desk to work through brain teasers for basket raffles.

I don't go for the bribes, but my kids do. See the thing is they are reading. I think it usually begins with them reading for the crap they will get, but in the end they read to see what will come of the story. Once the find the magic book they can't put it down. And that's why I am okay with the bribery. Because I'll come out of my room and find Stephen not watching TV but reading because he can't get enough of the story. I stopped caring if they are reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Captain Underpants, Little Women, or any other book. I only care that they are growing and learning through reading without even realizing it.

My kids school doesn't do required summer reading and I think I am okay with that. Books that are required are never as fun as books they want to read.

So, after I was done sewing for the day we had lunch. Then we packed up for the library and our hiking adventure. My first error of the day was thinking the library would go fast. It never does. After a while though they all had their books and prizes and we were ready to go.

Getting to Trexler Game Preserve was easy. Knowing what to do from there not so much. I have never hiked there and I looked at the website for five minutes before we left. Finding the main trail I asked the kids if they wanted to go left or right. As usual they were split 50/50. I elected go right, that meant uphill (and going back to the car would be downhill and easier later). Watching the clock we set off.

Right away each of my four kids had different reactions. The eldest decided she hates nature. The second child decided going uphill was the wrong choice (too much work). The third took off way ahead of us (as he always needs to be first). The fourth got deep. He begins to realize how beautiful the world is and how wrong it is to destroy the environment for cities. "Isn't it awful that we have taken away the animals homes to build cities?" Yep. I'm raising a nature hater (seriously, she walks past the recycling can to put paper in the trash), a lazy bum, a going-to-miss-the-world-because-he's-too-busy-trying-to-get-to-the-end-first kind of person, and a hippie.

We found a rest station, snacked up and discovered the park map. Realizing I'm running out of time and have no interest on staying on the 8.5 mile trail we turn back and head to car. I lead them to the Jordan Creek where they are free to stomp around in the water. Now they are all happy splashing in the water. After a time we head home so we can clean up and Cat and I head off to an appointment.

Later my kids pour over the copies of the map we brought home. They have already planned our next trip.

Reflection 3 - I could worry about the backslide for the upcoming school year. Will they remember their math facts? Will they remember how to write in cursive? Will they be ready in a few weeks to get back into the grind.

OR I can realize how much they are learning without text books and worksheets. My kids know how to read a map. One looked at the map and calculated how far we walked after we got home. They already started planning the next hike. They determined we should pack a lunch, and figured out the best way to carry said lunch so no one would get too tired.

My kids are learning. They are learning time management when they see how long things take and discuss the need to carve out more time for the activity. They are learning about the environment when they walk through a nature preserve, dump a bowl of waste in the composter, see the effects of rain on the house and in the yard. They are learning how to be adventurous in their reading, play, and other activities. They are growing in confidence when they jump off the diving board at the pool, ride their bike up and down the street, and create plays, videos or other pictures. They are learning people skills when deciding who gets to pick the next activity, dealing with an argument, or some other conflict arises.

They are learning by doing. And they are having fun. So they may need a refresher on handwriting, math, and other school tasks. But come September they will be smarter and wiser then they were in June. 

disaster in the kitchen.

I don't cook. and it's not for lack of effort. It's most because I am a walking disaster in the kitchen. I lack finesse.

Today's adventures in the kitchen are a true testament to that.

I love to garden. I love the satisfaction of eating something that I have grown. This past week I picked six ginormous alien shaped cucumbers. We can't eat them that fast so it's pickle time. Ironically, no one in the house except me eats pickles (and I don't really eat them that often). I wanted to take a short-cut and not do my traditional relish and just do sliced pickles.

When I told Paul my plan he warned me that I would need some vinegar. So this morning I checked the recipe one more time and put vinegar and onions on my list. Off to Walmart with my four children (who are not shoppers). I grab what I need and come home.

It's prep time. Cut cucumbers, cut onions cry like a baby. Seriously it took ten minutes for the sting to go away. Place cucumbers in a stainless pot with onions pickle salt (here I discover I don't have as much as I thought, I won't be able to do multiple batches: error 1) and water. Now I go get the canning pot. Have you ever seen a real canning pot? These things are ridiculously big.

. 
So I lug this thing out of hiding and start to prep. This is when I discover error #2. I don't have the right size jars for my project. Yup jar size matters. I have lots of quart jars no pint jars. Just some funky shaped jelly jars. They will have to do. Who wants a quart of pickles?

When I begin to prep the pickle spice is when I notice my real problem. I never bothered to check if we had enough spices. I have enough cucumbers for two batches, and enough supplies for one batch.

It's time to rewrite my plans. I can't let the cucumbers sit any longer. They are getting soft and soon will be unusable. So I make the first batch. I can hear them popping now! and the second set is brining now. I promised my darling monkeys a trip to the pool, what I haven't told them is that includes a detour to Walmart for more supplies.

Oh and one more thing: when the book says to only use stainless products it means it. Sorry Paul, I forgot about that and didn't realize we still don't have a metal ladle. Your ugly precious old ladle is now a lovely shade of pickle. And sorry about the mess I'm leaving you in the kitchen. I'll clean it up later, when I move on to phase two of the great pickle experiment.

What have I learned from this: I really need to plan better. 

life lessons.

Last week I had an epiphany. I realized that my kids learn best through experiences.

My uncle died at the beginning of the month. The I found out about it I drove out to be with my aunt and cousins. We told the kids about what happened and fielded all of the questions. One of them asked me "Why are you going to visit?" My response was "because it's what you do for your family."

It's the truth. Going to visit a grieving family member is what you do. I showed my family my love and compassion and at the same time I was showing my children how to be loving and compassionate. A few days later we went to the funeral, and again we were living examples to our children. My cousins asked me to read something at the cemetery.  Now doubt, it was hard, but I did it. I did it without thinking, because it's what you do.

My kids had an opportunity to see what it means to be a part of a big family. They saw what happens when you let love in. They saw the grief but they also saw the family support. The love.

Later that same week one of my best friends called me in a panic. I was in the car on the way to the movies with the kids and she needed a sitter because hers backed out at the last minute. When I got off the phone I told the kids the plans were changed. Not one of them complained.

Again I explained to them that this is what you do for your friends. This is what it means to be a good person. When someone needs you, you do what you can to help them. We responded to the call for help with joy and gratitude. I commended the kids later for being so accepting of the change in plans. I really was proud of them.

It wasn't until the end of the week that I reflected on all that was happening and I realized what we are doing for our kids. I don't think about these things on a daily basis. I just do them. I respond to the call to love on a daily basis. I want for my kids to do the same.

The only way that I can be sure that they will grow up to be good people is if I am a good person. We need to live a life of love in order to teach others how to do the same. It's not enough to just tell someone how to be good, you yourself have to be good as well.

I want for my kids to be selfless. I want for my children to grow up into good people. I want them to think nothing of bending over backwards for a friend of family member. I want them to say "it's what you do."

Begin the updates

February was the last time I posted on here. I haven't totally forgotten about my blog. I just allowed life to get in the way of leisure. Blogging is a leisure activity for me. The last year or so has been a crazy busy time for me and I have allowed myself to step away from an intense online presence to focus on the real world.

It's July now. In February I let loose with our growing troubles with my darling daughter Catherine. Six months have past since then and here is where we are:
We began counseling with Catherine in an attempt to get to the bottom of her anger. I wish I could say to right now that we have gotten there and everything is better.
It's not all better. What we can say is this: Catherine struggles to controll and express her emotions appropriately. We have seen improvements since we began the therapy process but we have miles to go.

The hardest part to all of this is trying to separate what are normal and appropriate reactions for a 9 year old and what extends beyond normal. Tantrums for two months strait? Not normal! We are happy to report that we are no longer fighting on a nightly basis. The second major challenge is shutting out the mean and awful things Catherine will say to us when she is "melting down." I have to constantly remind myself that in those moments that is not my daughter.

Catherine is and most likely always will be a hot tempered child. She will say mean things to get a reaction when she's frustrated. I will never accept that. She will always know that we cannot accept the nastiness. Standing our ground has been difficult and yet essential to our goal.

Catherine presents as a child with mood disorder (whatever that means). We will continue to work with professionals to help her learn to control the emotional roller coaster that she is on. We will stop at nothing to help her reach this goal.

I know this isn't much but this is all I'm willing to offer. Stay tuned maybe I'll give some more updates to make up for my long absence.

the moment of doubt

The day you find out your pregnant for the first time a million thoughts passes through your mind. In ten seconds you can go from elation to pure terror. In the months leading up to the birth you go through every possible emotion. Any mom who ever says they weren't scared is lying. We all go through it. We get excited. We get scared.

 The day the doctor placed my daughter in my arms I was over-joyed. I was excited beyond anything you can describe. But in the quiet moments when no one was around I looked at my daughter's face and thought "Holy shit, how are we going to do this?". There was never a constant fear. We trucked through our days praying and hoping we were "getting it right." But every now and again we have to wonder, how did we get here? How did we become the ones ultimately responsible for these people.

 It is my job to raise these four kids into adulthood. We all know that it's not just enough to get them to eighteen. We are responsible for what kind of person they will become. What we want for our children is for them to grow into strong independent adults. We want them to be able to make good decisions for themselves. We want for them to succeed in all things. We want for them to become saints. From day 1 I knew that. It scared the crap out of me and it still does. My constant prayer is that I get it right. That my husband and I make the right choices for our children until they are old enough to choose for themselves.

 I'm 99% sure that the key to being a good parent is confidence. I think it's okay that we don't always know what we are doing. I think a little bit of fear is healthy. But having confidence is key. So when your confidence is shaken what do you do? That's where I am today. Eight years I have been doing this. In all of this time I have never felt so utterly lost. I am unsure what the next move is, I cannot see the right answer. There were a lot of moments that I couldn't see coming. A hip brace for an infant, NICU time, twins, speech therapy, marathon illnesses, and many more not worth mentioning. All of these unforeseen moments come with the job. Each one I adjusted to. Each one Paul and I figured it out. We pushed through the highs and lows. Making decisions and moving forward.

So now, for the first time, Paul and I are at a loss. We don't know what to do. My daughter has been been having tantrums on a daily basis for almost two months. She cannot be told no or she will through a fit of epic proportions. It's like nothing we had ever seen before. We have always had our share of meltdowns, but lately is has escalated to a level that we can't handle. She has gone from a few protests and shouting matches to defiant and self destructive behavior. And it's all happening on a daily basis. My daughter, at eight years old, has spiraled out of control and I feel powerless to help her.

There is nothing worse than this feeling I have right now. That I have failed my daughter. Is this true? I know deep down that it is not. I can't help but wonder, what did we do wrong? Again, I know that I shouldn't blame myself for this. I don't blame Paul. But I am sure he is questioning himself the way I am questioning me. These are things we can't help.

We are seeking help. We would be failures if we didn't seek help. We would be failures if we just gave Catherine everything she wanted just to avoid the fit. I know all of that. But I'm still going to feel like a failure until everything gets better.

So I'm going to ask you to pray. Pray for me. For Paul. For Cat. For her brothers. Please Pray that we fix this. That we can find ways to make it better. That Catherine can learn how to handle her emotions. That we can find ways to help Catherine express herself in a safer and healthier way.

A quick rant.

Tiss the season... ...for sick kiddies. Do you know what's on the rise aside from flu? Pertussis. Do you know what your child can get immunized from beside the flu? Pertussis. Do you know what can't happen if you get immunized? Autism. Can you still get sick? Sure, but the chances are far less likely. Two years ago a friend of mine's daughter nearly died from the flu. She was three years old. A perfectly healthy little girl. She got sick. It got bad. She spent a week in a coma. She's fine now, but she's one of the lucky ones. There are two many kids who aren't so lucky. I do need to say that this friend was not an anti-vaccine person. She didn't put her child in harms way. It just happened. What makes me mad is people who willing do put their kids in harms way. They choose not to vaccinate. Which keeps diseases that should be eradicated around. What makes me angrier is that not only are they putting thierry own kids at risk but they are also putting all those they come in contact with at risk as well. I don't get all the science behind the argument. And quite frankly I don't care. I realize that some people can't get vaccinated because of some other medical issue. I don't blame them, in fact, I feel bad that they are out in such a difficult position. What burns me up are people who champion to stop vaccines from being mandated. People who believe vaccines are the cause of autism. People who are willing to put their kids at risk of serious illness for no good reason. I just don't get it.

Gadget love.

I love gadgets. I love what they can do. Simplifying complicated tasks.
What I have and how I use them (perhaps a bit braggy and pretentious but fun still):
1. IPhone - more than just a phone. It's my calendar, my email, it's my connection to everything and everyone. I do so much on my phone it's ridiculous. When we first got the phones we got the unlimited data package. Having no clue it turns out this was a great idea. For a time it was the only way I surfed the web. At times it has been too much of a distraction but for sure I'd hate to ever give it up.
2. iPad- wifi only. Didn't want another constantly connected device. This machine is incredible. I keep my grades on it. I have a plan book app to do lesson plans. I watch movies or shows. And more we surfing and reading. It is wonderful.
3. Nook. Black and white. It's easier to read long books on this screen then on the iPad. And I don't miss having real books. I love its portability.
4. Ninja food processor. See it's not all computers. From smoothies to chopped veggies this thing has worked hard for me.
5. Keurig. I got this for Christmas last year and am so happy with it. My guest can come and have coffee and I can have all the fun drinks in the world. My favorites: chai, hot cider, and southern sweet tea over ice

so I am sure that there are more gadgets I can profess my love for but I'll leave at that. Now I'll shear with you my wish list.

1. Sewing machine. Okay I have one, actually I have two. But both are simple basic machines. What I want is a digital controls one that does embroidery.
2. Camera upgrade. I would likea. Dslr camera. I have a fairly powerful camera with a lot of functions that I have been using that last few years. I've learned a lot with it. I'm ready for an upgrade. I want to learn even more and do a bit more. From what I gather a dslr will make some of what i like to do even easier.
3. A food dehydrator. Completely random right? I love gardening. And I love to preserve what I grow. I would love to expand my preserving by using a dehydrator to preserve peppers and make sundried tomatoes.


So there you have it. I love my gadgets. I love what I have and I use it all and well. And there's always more to want. But alas none of it do I need and I'll live without until I don't have to 😏

100 posts

It turns out this is my 100th post.
Don't have much to say really. It's the beginning of Advent. That always makes me happy. I love preparing for Christmas.
Actually, this is the first year that we are not set up right after Thanksgiving. Hopefully by the end of the week we will be. Why didn't we get it done? DISNEY!!!
We surprised our kids with a trip to Disney. It was my first experience on a plane as well as the kids. It was the kids first Disney trip and mine as well. (okay so I went when I was 3 but I don't remember any of it so it doesn't count).

Things from that trip:

• you can see some of our adventure on our trip blog
• I am so glad we waited until the kids were older
• I will never go with a baby or toddler. It may be a kid friendly place but never never never would I want that hassle. 
• My kids are fantastic travelers
• I am not
• Disney is all it's hyped up to be

I know I don't blog much. I keep saying I'll do more and then I never do. I wanted to post some pictures. But I'm not a huge picture person. I love playing with my camera. I want a fancier one. But I want to enjoy my photos and keep them to myself. I'm not a huge fan of photo blogs. For me pictures are to trap memories. I like the shots that capture moments in time. I don't like posed shots. I don't like looking at 100 pictures that all feel the same. With my big camera I took almost 800 pictures at Disney. Most of them didn't come out the way I wanted. But a lot of them caught some great moments. I tend to hold the shutter down and snap 3-5 pics at a time. It creates a really neat affect sometimes. 

ANYWAY, the tumblr has some pics and maybe in a few days we'll add some more. Right now we are prepping for Christmas. It's a time for shopping, crafting, baking and so much more. 

Catch you later

i know you miss me.

Well, I did it. I let blogging take a backseat. To, well, everything.

My last post was September 16.

Here's a disjointed brain vomit of what has happened since then.

Since then I have dove head-long into the world of working mom. The fall was/is pure insanity. Things are finally mellowing out with the sports season coming to an end.

There has been a lot of adjusting and a lot of eye-opening in the last month and half. Honestly it feels so far away. I can't believe that it's been only a month and a half.

I work 4 days a week and my schedule is inconsistent from day to day but week to week it's mostly the same. Each of the four days my hours are different and my location is different. It's taken me these last 8 weeks to really wrap my head around the ever changing days.

I'm learning that I need to take in more caffeine. I was a one cup a tea a day kind of person, but I find I need more just to get through the day. I don't know how else to keep my energy up and not pass out by 8am.

Thankfully the kids have adjusted beautifully to a working mom. For the most part it doesn't really affect them that much. They spend their days in beautiful ignorance of what I am doing and where. What they have noticed is my lack of presence at their school. Last year I stepped up big time and was volunteering twice a week. This year I am very rarely there.

The nice thing is that what my daughter really wants is to see me come to school masses. Those happen every Friday. Which happens to be my day off. I have been to two so far. :/

Some of our survival skills that were employed when the twins were born have really come back to good use. For a while there we were running to early evening practices four nights a week. Being big on the family meal we had to do some creative menu planning. Much like when the kids were babies we have made a lot of freezer meals to pull out on those nights where there's no time to cook. (A new favorite is taco pockets) (A book I recommend: Don't Panic Dinner is In the Freezer). We've been big menu planners for years. Every week we sit down and hammer out what we are going to eat for the week. This cuts out the "What are we eating for dinner?" problem.

In general we are doing good. Life is crazy. We have done a lot but I lack the time to tell you all about it.

Perhaps later this weekend. I'll get to some photo blogging. 

The thing about Josh.

Joshua is five. He is the younger of my twins (by 1 whole minute). Does this matter? The doctor thought it did. He litterally ifted his hands up on and watched the clock tic off a minute before he pulled Joshua out.

Joshua for a long time was my smallest child. He was born at 4lbs and change. Definitely the runt of the litter. :) Being small has never really slowed him down. If anything it gave him the perfect cover. Josh, from the time he was a small baby has always been my independent one. He thrives best when you leave him alone.

The irony to this is that he is also my space-cadet. This boy can get lost standing next to you. The poor kid comes by it honestly though. He doesn't mean for things to happen they just do.

Today marks the end of the 3rd weeknof school. In this time my darling boy has:

• lost track of a sweatshirt
• thrown away a Tupperware container
• put an open gogurt tube back in his lunch box
• put all of his lunch trash in his lunch box, rather than throw it away at school. This included and open applesauce, juice box and trail mix crumbs.
• left his library book in his desk for two days

The thing about Josh is that he's a little bit forgetful. A little bit exasperating. And a lot of fun.

i'm working. it's working.

A think to ponder before I do a full update:

A stay at home mom should be praised for her sacrafices. Admired for her ability to get it all done. A stay at home mom needs love and support from her community.

A working mom should be  praised for her sacrafices. Admired for her ability to get it all done. A working mom needs love and support from her community.

Some mom's can choose to stay at home and do so because that is what is best for her family. Some mom's can choose to go to work and do so because that is what is best for her family.

Some mom's have no choice to work or stay at home those are the mom's that need love, support and encouragement the most. They choose life and for that they should be praised.

Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is challenging. Motherhood is beautiful. Motherhood is rewarding. 

holy cow.

Hello September.

What the hell happened to August?!?

We went on vacation to Myrtle Beach and had so much fun.

We came back from a great family week to madness. Paul flew out to Hawaii and back (which isn't as great as it sounds, well Hawaii is apparently great, but his trip was not). My garden was in full bloom. It was harvest time.

We have been eating fresh tomato and peppers with our salads. I have so far canned 7 quarts of tomatoes, 10 8oz jars of bruchetta, and 5 pints of relish. I also have 1 8oz container of pesto sauce in the freezer. Today I have to can more tomatoes. It's a fair amount of work but it's worth it to have home grown food.

August was also filled with back to school shopping and the first day of school.

The first week went well. I definitely had some tired and sensitive kids by the end of the week. I'm grateful now for this four day weekend. 

You would think that getting the kids out of the house would free me up, but it hasn't yet. I don't exactly expect for me to get bored. There is always something for me to do. This week I have been preparing for a big consginment sale. You can read about it here. I have dug through every bin of clothing. My living room has bins everywhere. It will be a while before I get everything back in order again. 

I have piles ready to go straight to donation. A pile that goes to one friend. A pile that goes to another friend. A pile that goes to storage until the spring sale. A pile that goes into storage until the kids can wear it. And lastly the pile that is tagged and ready for the fall sale. Lot's of piles, lots of bins, but it's all going somewhere and most of it is leaving the house. 

I also don't plan on being home all year. I have been interviewing for jobs. I am confident that something will come down the pike that is right for me. Something that offers the flexibility I need and the opportunities I crave. 

Well for now I will marvel that it is September. My kids first cross-country race is this weekend. The second week of school is only four days away. So many new and exciting experiences are coming our way. 

wind down. wind up.

It's that time again.

Summer vacation is rolling to a stop. Funny how it starts off with a bang. You move so fast through the days and weeks. And then the final weeks seem to take a little longer as you gear up for the next transition.

My Summer Vacation rocked. Most of the time. I took the kids to the Zoo (twice). We went to the beach. We went to the pool. We completed our Summer Reading Programs at the local library. We went to the movies.

I kept the kids busy, and at the same time we spent lots of time at home. It was wonderful. The kids sleep in until well after 8 most mornings. Every day has started the lazy way. Making our way downstairs and through breakfast. While eating the kids always ask "What are we doing today?"

Some days we had lots to do some days we didn't. To the kids it didn't matter either way. They spent their vacation playing and having fun. But now we are down to the final two weeks of vacation. The school supplies box has resurfaced. Uniforms have been fitted. We are here in the home stretch.

I'm happy for it. Just as I was happy for the start of summer. I am happy for the start of our next adventure. This year will be the first that all four kids will be in school at the same time. I am thrilled beyond measure. I cannot believe that we have finally have come to this point.

I'm hoping for more changes this year. I'm praying for it. Five years ago I gave up my teaching post to stay home with my growing family. It was too much to work full-time with four small children. Day-care was far too expensive. Not to mention the ability to handle the work-load. Now that my kids are older and more independent, I am ready to go back to work. I just wish that finding a job wasn't so difficult.

Going back to work will be a huge challenge for sure. Juggling four school kids and a full time job won't be easy. But I am ready to take that on. I miss being in the classroom. For a long time that wasn't true. I was too busy with my family to want anything else. But my kids are older now. They need me less. I find myself more restless. I find myself wanting more.

It will be a huge change for everyone if I get a job and go back to work. Our lives will certainly get busier. All the things I do during the day will still have to get done somehow. I was a working mom before and we did just fine. I am sure that it will be just the same. Sure it's different. I have four instead of two. But my kids are older and more capable of pitching in then they were the first time I worked.

So here's to transitions. Here's to my kids going back to school. Some for the first time. Here's hoping I find a decent job. Here's to the good life!

9 years today.

I said "I do" 9 years ago today.

10 years ago (not to the day), I said yes to the most important question ever asked me.

I believe that marriage is a calling, in the Church we call that a Vocation. God called me to the vocation of Marriage.

My pathway to Heaven is through Marriage.

He sent me my husband, and when the time was right to full-fill God's plan for us to marry it happened.

We said yes.

And in the last nine years we said yes again and again.

Four times we said yes when we found out we were pregnant.

One time we said yes when we held each other through a miscarriage.

Many times we said yes when we celebrated life's big accomplishments. Buying/Selling houses, buying cars, getting jobs, getting promotions...

Many times we said yes when we sought each others arms during times of hardship. Through deaths of loved ones, day-to-day financial struggles, fear of uncertain futures...

We've said yes on our most difficult days.

We've said yes on our best days.

God promises us that if we have faith we will never be alone. I have never been alone. During the last 9 years I have had the best company. I see God's promise fulfilled in my Husband.

When the days are long and tiring I know that at the end of it Paul is there. I know that he will always be there whether I need him or not. That is the promise he made to me 9 years ago. Likewise, I will always be there for him whether he needs me or not. That is the promise I made to him. We will never break that promise. Never.

I know there are days were I have driven Paul crazy. I have made him angry. I may have even hurt him. But he is always there. He has driven me crazy. Made me angry. May have even hurt me. But I am not going anywhere. Every challenge we work through makes our bond stronger. Every triumph we celebrate brings us closer still.

I give Praise and Thanksgiving that God has called me to Marriage. I thank God for giving me Paul as a husband.

Paul has made me stronger over the years. He has made me more confident, as a wife and mother. There is no one I'd rather be with.

I love what we have said yes to. I love what we have been called to. And I can't wait to see what the next 9 years bring. 

fast updates.

Well it's August. There's truth in the saying "Time flies when you're having fun."

July
We had Catherine evaluated by the Orthodontist. Molds were made, pictures taken and the prognosis is in.
The girl has a tiny mouth and will need lots of metal to make it bigger and her teeth straiter. In my opinion her mouth is plenty big, but from an oral hygiene perspective not so much. In preparation for hardware installation she had to have two teeth removed. So off the oral surgeon we went and 30 mins later she had two less teeth in her mouth.
And like a good mother, I took her the day before we left for vacation. And because I love her so much I took a picture of her mouth full of gauze, and laughed hysterically at her drug induced state. The rest of her orthodontics will take place in the next few weeks. Should be lots of fun.

In the meantime, July flew past us in a daze. We celebrated Paul's birthday. We went to the beach for the 4th of July weekend (though the actual 4th was spent at home). My garden has grown out of control. Everything is growing bigger than I expected and faster than I can keep up with.

The end of July brought us to our family Vacation. This was our third trip down to Myrtle Beach, SC and once again we had a blast. We've been going every-other-year and this year might have been the best yet. Our drive was good (though I can't say that driving through VA has ever been easy), the kids are champs at fast pit-stops. We left the house at 5am and were on the beach by 7pm.

Vacation week was spent between the beach and pools. The kids love the swimming and splashing in the waves. They are finally big enough to do a lot of it on their own. We only pulled out swimmies for one day. The biggest pool has a large 3ft section which meant all of our kids could touch bottom. 3 out of 4 of the kids discovered they love being underwater. And they all learned to cannon ball into the pool. All in all the week was great. I look forward to going back again.

July gives way to August and I can't believe it's already the second week. The kids go back to school in just two and half weeks. I've done the uniform shopping now it's time to do the supply shopping. It's all so exciting and overwhelming at the same time. This year is a big one. All four kids are going to school this year. I can't believe this day is finally here.

In the meantime I'm still hunting for work. I've sent my resume out several times to no avail. I'm praying something comes up soon. So while I continue my job search I will spend my time on crafting and house work (all fun stuff right?).

I'm hoping to get our dining room project done soon. When it is I will post a picture or two.

observation of the day.

Since the summer started my kids have been playing board games like it's nobody's business. The have been spending hours playing games.
Trouble, Chutes and Ladders, Uno, anything they can get their hands on.

I'm not sure that there is a favorite among the pile of games. It's just whatever they feel like playing.

The other day Paul and I overheard Stephen telling his brothers that he didn't want to play any game because he always loses. Paul and I laughed at the thought and both agreed that this was a wimps way out. Harsh? Nah, it's reality. Only a wimp wouldn't play a game because he's afraid to lose.

Now before you go judging me I didn't actually say this to Stephen, but I would say it if we were in the same room if the conversation goes that way. They need to learn to taking losing as well as winning.

Story Part II
Every other Saturday my kids participate in something called The Lehigh Valley Road Runners. It's a free running program for kids. It's geared at getting kids excited about running and encouraging exercise in a world that doesn't encourage it enough. They break the kids into age groups starting at 3 all the way up to 12 and have them running races.
The last race was the first time that David and Joshua moved up from the 3-4 yr division to the 5-6. In the beginning of the summer David was running strong and coming in the top of the pack. This last race he didn't not do as well. Someone who doesn't know our kids would have no idea what happened. But Paul and I saw it and knew right away why David under performed.
See Stephen is in the 5-6 division as well, and Stephen is not a strong runner. He did cross-country last year and the poor kid try as hard as he did and always came in last. But the thing is he aways did it with a smile. David is fast. When playing outside he often outruns his brothers. I think David somehow got all of the athletic ability in the house. In this last race David was running with Stephen, he was staying one step behind Stephen the whole time. David let his big brother come in ahead of him.

Back to today's observation.
The boys were playing downstairs, and David convinced Stephen to play a game with him. Stephen won. David asked if they could play another game. Stephen declined. David then said, but maybe you could win that game too. Stephen still said no.

What this tells me?
David cares more about playing with Stephen than he does about winning. David is fully aware of how Stephen feels when he doesn't win, and David does what he can to spare his feelings. Sometimes ;)
David let Stephen win this mornings game. This is so that David can keep playing the games he wants to play with Stephen. This fascinates me. The boys are five years old. And they are already fully aware of how to manipulate each other to do what they want.

Before you go gushy.
Just so you know, that while this gesture of David letting Stephen win to spare his feelings is really sweet, David can also be quite the stinker. Like I said, David is willing to give up winning in order to keep playing. He wants to play these games, and he'll do what it takes to play. Yes, he does care about his brothers (and sister), and he does care if they are happy or not. But his motives are always pure. After all this is the boy that is known for hiding puzzle pieces when someone is working on a puzzle. ;)

need your opinion

I have been doing a lot of sewing lately and this is my next project. This is going to be for my husbands aunt. I have a dilemma. Here are my two fabric pallets.

I could go all black and white.

Or I could throw in a bit of color. 

I can't decide what will look better. 

If I throw in the color what do I do with the band around the top of the bag and the straps? If I stick with all black and white that's a no brainer. 

So I can't decide. What do you think?

Found this picture of my daughter. Didn't even know it was still on my computer. Thought I had transfered all of my photos off the harddrive.

It's amazing how small she was. I'd say this was around 1 year old. Not too sure. I know it was before Stephen because when he was born he moved in the the crib and she in a twin size bed.

july garden.

Remember when I was talking albout gardening. I put up a few pics of my piles of dirt. Well here we are. It's July. The soil I ordered was horrible. It's the weediest soil I've ever worked with. Two layers of weed block and I've been weeding since day one. It's also very clay like and clumpy. Not smooth at all. But my plants are still thriving. I had some issues with starting from seeds but that was due to weather not the soil. The seeds would spring up and and die in the heat of June. It was a hot hot month.

Above is the long box filled with celery, watermellon, peppers and tomatoes.

Above is a tomato plant growing taller than the cages. This might be the tallest I have ever seen them grow.

Tomatoes ripening up only a few more days. These plum tomatoes are wonderful. They are coming off the plant crisp and tasty. Soon I will be canning like a mad women. I'd say right after vacation it will be canning time.

Watermellon, a week ago this was the size of a grape today it's the size of a baseball. I didn't know they grew so fast.

This last photo is my small box. We had lettuce but it tasted horrible so I ripped it out. Strawberries are growing nicely though they haven't sent out too many suckers yet. In the back is the cucumber. I have two picklers and one slicer. I'm not sure how I will keep them apart now that they are climbing all over each other. Oh and in the middle there is a sprig of basil. Yummy Yummy