2010 to 2011

In 2010 I have so much to be thankful for

• We welcomed into the world my first Nephew
• We sold our house (what a roller coaster ride at best, the showings, the cleaning to keep it show-worthy, the packing up and walking away from a place that we owned for almost 7 full years)
• We bought a new house (the unpacking, the decorating, making plans for room make-overs)
• My son started kindergarten
• My daughter received first Penance. 

I have great joy to speak for for 2010. No major personal tragedies. We trucked through the year like champs. I did my best to be a positive person throughout the year. 

• In 2010 we discovered how much pain can come with poison ivy
• We discovered how awesome it is to have a big backyard
• We hosted our first ever big party (labor day weekend)
• I discovered the cost savings in hanging my clothes outside to dry
• I discovered that aluminum clothes trees are a waste of money (twice)
• Kids riding the bus is so much better than walking them to and from school.
• Having to drive everywhere does have its draw-backs
• Summer movie series is fun
• The Philadelphia zoo is a great place to spend a day, and a one year membership is worth it. 
• A trip to Hershey with my daughter taught me how much she loves to ride the rides. The higher the better. 
• Stephen go his first bike, and we all learned to love the openness of our neighborhood and how easy it is to go for a ride. 
• Decorating for Christmas is so much more fun when you have more space. 
• We took our first family trip to Washington DC and discovered that our kids love the Metro and running around the museums. 
• Catherine loves history
• Stephen loves Star Wars and all things battle related
• David is a master puzzle solver
• Joshua has the mind of an engineer. 

I can't wait for a new year to bring on new adventures.

• in 2011 we will make our first ever trip to Disney (this includes a first plane ride)
• Catherine will receive First Holy Communion
• I will be applying to go back to work
• David and Joshua will enter Kindergarten
• I will build a new garden 
• maybe fulfill our kids dreams of one day going to Dorney Park (which is only five minutes from our house)

Life changes. It happens so fast sometimes you miss the changes. I love that this year is wrapping up. I love that I can say it was truly a good year. I am grateful that it was such a wonderful for year. I can't wait to begin another year and pray that it is as good as the last. 

not an expert, just experienced.

Have you ever noticed that a parent's FB status involving their child will grow with comments? Especially it its an advice seeking status.

All the sudden your fellow friends who happen to be parents have the right answer for you. They know just what to do. If you're a sensitive person you may get offended when reading other peoples comments because sometimes they can come off a bit strong (as if to say that their solution is the only solution). If you are not overly sensitive you will read the comments as they are meant to be: An experts opinion.

Okay so not really an expert, just an experienced parent who can tell you what has worked for them. Any level headed parent knows that every family is different and every child is different. Knowing this is the key to seeking parental advice. Take what they give you and see how it can work for you.

What makes an expert anyway? Is is someone who has studied children? Someone who has raised a whole bunch of kids? I don't get it. Someone once contacted me to ask me a parenting question because they figured I would be an expert on the subject. I think it was a potty training question, and I did just complete the fourth child's training. So sure maybe by the end I was a bit of an expert. Or maybe just really experienced. The funny thing was that all four of my kids needed different approaches and so I laid each one out.

If I were an expert at anything I would say it's reading the situation and seeing how to apply the right techniques to accomplish my goal. I'm going to use sleep training as my example. Catherine was my first and we didn't realize it until it was almost too late that we were approaching sleep time all wrong. We were developing the habit of waiting until she was sound asleep in our arms to put her down. I don't remember when we started the "feber" method, but I know that's what we ended up doing. Strait by the book. Stephen came along and he was a mild version of Catherine. We learned from the first to not wait until he's almost a year, and so we started sooner. We also knew that we had to let him entertain himself (i.e. don't hold him all the time). David and Joshua came along and once again we adjusted our sleep training strategies to their personalities (for the record David had problems and screamed for a good 6 months, no training worked until he started to feel better).

I am not an expert in putting babies to sleep. I am sure if you give me your non-sleeping baby I wouldn't magically have her sleeping like a champ. Unless I spent a considerable amount of time getting to know her and the family dynamic and then maybe I could help train the baby to be a great sleeper. My kids are all great sleepers. They are in bed by 7/7:30 and usually up by 7:30a (only true during unscheduled periods of life). This suits our lifestyle and personalities. What we do will not work for others. The key to our children's sleep/wake patterns is that it fits with our work schedules. Paul is out the door at sunrise and is home by 4pm (meaning we get enough wake-time with the kids that there is no reason to keep them up at night)

ANYWAY, The whole point of this post was to comment on the "experts" in parenting. I'd argue that there is no such thing. Even Mister Feber himself at one point recanted his "Feber method" saying it might not be the best choice. I do think it's wonderful how parents band together to lend sage wisdom to one another. What would I have done, had I not had friends to call on for their wisdom? My parenting wisdom only goes as far as a 7 year old girl. I would have nothing to offer for the problems you may face with a 10 year old boy (get back to me in five years).

As parents, we need to stick together. We need to help each other out. Don't be offended if someone doesn't take your advice. And don't puff your chest if yours is the advice taken. Don't dispense advice like you're the expert. Don't be afraid to add your pearls of wisdom on a subject that you are experienced with. (Quick side note: a major pet peeve of mine is when someone chimes in with some utterly useless statement. For example, I asked if anyone has a recommendation for a good movie for the kids to watch, don't tell me that you don't let your kids watch tv. That only makes you look obnoxious, just stay out of conversations that don't include you).

Parent's should cheer each other on and help each other out. Never should one parent put another down. We all make mistakes and we are not permitted to judge each others mistakes (I do judge and I recognize this as a huge crutch of mine). We should not be tempted to tell another parent that they are doing something wrong. I once knew a mom who's daughter only napped when nursing. And so for more than a year when it was nap time mom settled on the couch and nursed the child through the whole nap. I never said anything to her about this. It wasn't my place to. She wasn't hurting the baby. She was just making her life more complicated than necessary. If this friend asked me for help in breaking this habit I would have been all over it, but until then I needed to let it go.

We parents must stand united. It's how God created us. To depend on each other. To look to Him in our times of need. Parents are often in need and that's why he putts so many experienced parents in our lives.

funny story.

We are at my parents house and all of the gifts have been opened. I am sitting on the couch and I see a garmin. I ask my sister who got it, and she tells me it hers. And I say to her that I have always wanted one and maybe next year I can get one.
Meanwhile my dad hears the exchange, and looks at me with confusion, and says: You didn't get yours?
He then takes off behind the tree and hands me a small wrapped box and explains that he forgot to give it to me earlier.
Oops guess he forgot.
It was another funny and typical moment at my family Christmas.

And by the way. I am really excited to finally have a Garmin, I have been wanting one for so long.


UPDATE:
Funny Story Part 2
Two days after Christmas Paul and I realized that Stephen forgot to give everybody his gifts. When I helped him wrap things he insisted on hiding things in his room. All of the other kids gifts were in bags in my room. On Christmas Eve we got home so late that I didn't remember that he had gifts hidden. We emptied our room of all the gifts and put them under the tree. The chaos of Christmas morning we didn't even notice that we didn't hand anything out that was from him.
So two days after Christmas we got one more handful of gifts.
Love it!

these are a few of my favorite things.

Love Christmas.

Love getting new things.

I got some clothes, which I love.

I got a keurig, which I love

I got a photography book and tripod, which I am excited about

I got rain boots, which I love

The kids got some wonderful gifts including, American Girl doll, New Bikes, Legos, Knex,  Trios,  games, books and so much more.

I love Christmas.

Praise God

calm after the storm.

No, we didn't get any snow. Maybe an inch, which is disappointing for our children. The real storm is the Christmas Storm.

Christmas Eve was celebrated at my in-laws house. We arrived early afternoon and the kids played with existing toys and drooled over the pile of wrapped gifts under the tree. Paul's sister was in town from Oregon, which meant his immediate family was all together. We went to the children's mass and came back to the house for dinner and then it was presents time. All the kids were truly grateful for all of the gifts they received.

When the night was over we headed home. The kids were so tired they dove into their beds forgetting to leave cookies for Santa (so we put some crumbs on a plate and called it a night). Paul and I quickly set up the tree and stockings and we were off to bed ready for the next day.

Ironically I was the first one up. Soon after I went downstairs to make some tea the kids started to arise. They came down and were amazed by the piles of gifts under the tree. While Paul and I got ourselves together the kids tore through their stockings and you would have thought that they were in heaven. The squeals of delight were hysterical. Everything they got was greeted with shouts of joy. After the stockings we began to open presents. And before you know it, wrapping paper was everywhere and we had a house full of happy children.

After gifts, we did breakfast and started to get ready for the next adventure. We headed off to my grandmothers house for a short visit and then to my parents house. At my parents house the kids were once again greeted with a tree stuffed with gifts just for them. Again they tore through every gift and thanked everyone for everything. They were happy with all of it and weren't afraid to let the world know it.

After gifts we had a family dinner and then we all sat back and relaxed and enjoyed a great Christmas celebration. We spent the night at my parents house and came home the next day. Now, two days after Christmas we are slowly trying to find homes for all of our new toys. The kids are a bit overwhelmed by the amount of stuff they have and can hardly figure out what to play with first.

Christmas is my favorite. I love the church celebration as much as I love the family celebration. And I love this week where we can be lazy and enjoy all that we have and all that we have been given.

changes are gonna come.

This week I did something I have been avoided. I started the paperwork process that leads to getting back to the work world. What I have done is not huge but the significance behind it is. I filled out the Child Abuse Clearances, and the Criminal Background Check forms, and I started a rough copy of my resume (which I am rather tempted to post here someday).

This is it. God-willing, 2010 will be marked as the last year that I am a stay at home mom. If all goes well I will become a working-mom once again (does that sound dirty?). I am excited an nervous about this at the same time.

Just so you know I did not really choose to become a SAHM. It chose me, or should I say that God chose that for me? When I had Catherine I was miserable at home. I didn't have a network of friends, I didn't know what to do with myself. When she was three months old I returned to the classroom and never regretted it. Teaching is awesome for many reasons, but one of the great things about it is its holiday breaks. I liked the summers off and the holiday weekends. It fits the family life perfectly.

Since Stephen was born in August I stayed home until November. I went back to work with two kids in day-care and once again it didn't bother me. We were happy. Sure I felt bad that I put Stephen in daycare before he turned one (we had in home care for Catherine the first year), but I knew we were making the decision that was best for our family. When we discovered that we were pregnant again, we knew that I would have to stay home for at least a year (day-care for 3 is ridiculous) until Catherine was pre-school age (older kids child-care is less than little kids). When we discovered that we were having twins we knew then that my career was to go on an indefinite hold.

I was thrown into the world of SAHM because I couldn't afford the child-care that I would need in order to work. I accepted that reality, and dove into the life of an at home mom. To be honest I didn't even think about work for the first two and a half years at home. I was too busy with infant twins, and toddlers. It wasn't until David and Joshua turned 3 that I started to think about the next phase. Now they are four and they go to Kindergarten next year. I can't just think about going back to work, I have to start  applying for work.

I miss working, and I know that its the right thing to do. I don't have any guilt over this decision. Going back to work is a choice between two life-styles. Choice A: Keep the kids in their current school (St. John Vianney) where they are happy and thriving. Be able to buy kids the clothes they need and not fear that we are breaking the bank doing so. Knowing if Paul's car falls into disrepair we can afford to replace it. Be able to afford to replace the rundown/mismatched furniture we currently have. Choice B: Pull the kids from their school so that we can afford all the things listed in choice A.

Paul and I don't have a lot of fancy things. We cut corners where ever possible in an effort to save money. Having a second income would take tremendous financial pressure off of us. We can make it on a single salary, as long as we continue to live simply. I don't want to go back to work simply to afford the finer things in life. I want to go back to work because I want to give my kids what I think they deserve. I love their school, and I would be crushed if we had to take that from them. A huge benefit to working in our diocese is free-tuition. That alone will help us in huge ways. A second salary will allow us to breathe a little bit.

I want to work for Paul's sake. He takes on a lot of stress due to our finances. If I go back to work, he might be able to sleep better at night. He won't freak out when one of our kids decides to outgrow their entire wardrobe over night. I want to work because it's what is best for our family at this time. They no longer need me at home all the time. Once Dave and Josh head off to full-day school what am I supposed to do all day? A housewife I am not. And I do draw a distinction between housewife and SAHM. Both are honorable things to be. I just happen to see myself as a good mom not so much on the housewife stuff. I have tremendous respect for those who do well in the housewife department.

So dear readers, pray for me. Pray that I write the best resume and cover letter out there. Pray that I find the job that is best fit for me and my family. Pray that my nervousness fades over time. Pray for my family. Pray that my kids in 2011 grow in the strength of Christ. Pray that we all can adjust to the changes that will come about when I return to the world of work.

Peace and Merry Christmas.

home made gifting.

Are you enjoying the Christmas craziness yet?
I'm 99% certain that we finished out Christmas shopping this week. I had to wait until this week because we wanted to get Joshua a movie that wasn't out until this past Tuesday. We got each of the other kids movies and we didn't want to leave Josh out.

So that should be it for the shopping. BUT I'm not done yet. A large part of out gifting is also home made stuff. This past weekend we made cookies lots and lots of cookies. This year we got a new cook book to help us expand our selection. All together we made 18 batches of cookies (I have no idea how many dozen that calculates to). Here's a list of cookies we made:

• Chocolate chip
• oatmeal
• oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip
• cookie press (green trees, yellow flowers, red stars)
• cookie cutters
• chocolate shortbread
• ricotta
• holly wreaths

Paul spent a week mixing batters and storing them in our fridge, and this past weekend we spent two days baking non-stop. We filled two 34qt storage bins, and one paper box with cookies. Homemade cookies are a fantastic gift (at least I think so). We can't buy something for every body. It's just too much. Cookies are a great way to show people you are thinking of them, you appreciate them and you care enough to do something for them at Christmas. Paul took a bunch of boxes with him to work for his employees. Then I gave a box to Josh's speech therapist, and two more boxes to my Moms group babysitters.

The second homemade gift that we give out are cookie mixes. I buy recipe books to help me with this project. When we moved I lost about 4 different books which really bummed me out. This year I have about 16 jars to fill. I buy mason jars and the baking ingredients and I layer each one according to the directions. When all is said and done I am handing someone a jar filled with everything they need to make cookies, brownies, muffins etc. Again, it's an inexpensive way to show people how much we care and appreciate them. I give these to teachers, parents, grandparents, and family friends. My guess is that each jar costs me less than $3 to make, and it looks like so much more than that. It's the time and effort that I put into it that people can really see.

And finally this year my kids are doing a lot of crafts for their aunts and uncles. Each child is putting together a gift bag filled with homemade crafts for their godparents. The each have three different things to make and put in the bag and then I will add something small to each one. My brothers and sisters ought to see it for what it is. Something that my kids are taking a great deal of time and effort to do. It takes a lot of energy to sit down and carefully work on each project. Catherine, for example, knows that she is making her things for Uncle Dom, and she is working very intently on her projects for him. My intention is that my brother will see this effort and really appreciate his gift. It's more fun and less stressful than wondering the stores trying to figure out what to get for him.

I think homemade gifts are the best.