2010 to 2011

In 2010 I have so much to be thankful for

• We welcomed into the world my first Nephew
• We sold our house (what a roller coaster ride at best, the showings, the cleaning to keep it show-worthy, the packing up and walking away from a place that we owned for almost 7 full years)
• We bought a new house (the unpacking, the decorating, making plans for room make-overs)
• My son started kindergarten
• My daughter received first Penance. 

I have great joy to speak for for 2010. No major personal tragedies. We trucked through the year like champs. I did my best to be a positive person throughout the year. 

• In 2010 we discovered how much pain can come with poison ivy
• We discovered how awesome it is to have a big backyard
• We hosted our first ever big party (labor day weekend)
• I discovered the cost savings in hanging my clothes outside to dry
• I discovered that aluminum clothes trees are a waste of money (twice)
• Kids riding the bus is so much better than walking them to and from school.
• Having to drive everywhere does have its draw-backs
• Summer movie series is fun
• The Philadelphia zoo is a great place to spend a day, and a one year membership is worth it. 
• A trip to Hershey with my daughter taught me how much she loves to ride the rides. The higher the better. 
• Stephen go his first bike, and we all learned to love the openness of our neighborhood and how easy it is to go for a ride. 
• Decorating for Christmas is so much more fun when you have more space. 
• We took our first family trip to Washington DC and discovered that our kids love the Metro and running around the museums. 
• Catherine loves history
• Stephen loves Star Wars and all things battle related
• David is a master puzzle solver
• Joshua has the mind of an engineer. 

I can't wait for a new year to bring on new adventures.

• in 2011 we will make our first ever trip to Disney (this includes a first plane ride)
• Catherine will receive First Holy Communion
• I will be applying to go back to work
• David and Joshua will enter Kindergarten
• I will build a new garden 
• maybe fulfill our kids dreams of one day going to Dorney Park (which is only five minutes from our house)

Life changes. It happens so fast sometimes you miss the changes. I love that this year is wrapping up. I love that I can say it was truly a good year. I am grateful that it was such a wonderful for year. I can't wait to begin another year and pray that it is as good as the last. 

not an expert, just experienced.

Have you ever noticed that a parent's FB status involving their child will grow with comments? Especially it its an advice seeking status.

All the sudden your fellow friends who happen to be parents have the right answer for you. They know just what to do. If you're a sensitive person you may get offended when reading other peoples comments because sometimes they can come off a bit strong (as if to say that their solution is the only solution). If you are not overly sensitive you will read the comments as they are meant to be: An experts opinion.

Okay so not really an expert, just an experienced parent who can tell you what has worked for them. Any level headed parent knows that every family is different and every child is different. Knowing this is the key to seeking parental advice. Take what they give you and see how it can work for you.

What makes an expert anyway? Is is someone who has studied children? Someone who has raised a whole bunch of kids? I don't get it. Someone once contacted me to ask me a parenting question because they figured I would be an expert on the subject. I think it was a potty training question, and I did just complete the fourth child's training. So sure maybe by the end I was a bit of an expert. Or maybe just really experienced. The funny thing was that all four of my kids needed different approaches and so I laid each one out.

If I were an expert at anything I would say it's reading the situation and seeing how to apply the right techniques to accomplish my goal. I'm going to use sleep training as my example. Catherine was my first and we didn't realize it until it was almost too late that we were approaching sleep time all wrong. We were developing the habit of waiting until she was sound asleep in our arms to put her down. I don't remember when we started the "feber" method, but I know that's what we ended up doing. Strait by the book. Stephen came along and he was a mild version of Catherine. We learned from the first to not wait until he's almost a year, and so we started sooner. We also knew that we had to let him entertain himself (i.e. don't hold him all the time). David and Joshua came along and once again we adjusted our sleep training strategies to their personalities (for the record David had problems and screamed for a good 6 months, no training worked until he started to feel better).

I am not an expert in putting babies to sleep. I am sure if you give me your non-sleeping baby I wouldn't magically have her sleeping like a champ. Unless I spent a considerable amount of time getting to know her and the family dynamic and then maybe I could help train the baby to be a great sleeper. My kids are all great sleepers. They are in bed by 7/7:30 and usually up by 7:30a (only true during unscheduled periods of life). This suits our lifestyle and personalities. What we do will not work for others. The key to our children's sleep/wake patterns is that it fits with our work schedules. Paul is out the door at sunrise and is home by 4pm (meaning we get enough wake-time with the kids that there is no reason to keep them up at night)

ANYWAY, The whole point of this post was to comment on the "experts" in parenting. I'd argue that there is no such thing. Even Mister Feber himself at one point recanted his "Feber method" saying it might not be the best choice. I do think it's wonderful how parents band together to lend sage wisdom to one another. What would I have done, had I not had friends to call on for their wisdom? My parenting wisdom only goes as far as a 7 year old girl. I would have nothing to offer for the problems you may face with a 10 year old boy (get back to me in five years).

As parents, we need to stick together. We need to help each other out. Don't be offended if someone doesn't take your advice. And don't puff your chest if yours is the advice taken. Don't dispense advice like you're the expert. Don't be afraid to add your pearls of wisdom on a subject that you are experienced with. (Quick side note: a major pet peeve of mine is when someone chimes in with some utterly useless statement. For example, I asked if anyone has a recommendation for a good movie for the kids to watch, don't tell me that you don't let your kids watch tv. That only makes you look obnoxious, just stay out of conversations that don't include you).

Parent's should cheer each other on and help each other out. Never should one parent put another down. We all make mistakes and we are not permitted to judge each others mistakes (I do judge and I recognize this as a huge crutch of mine). We should not be tempted to tell another parent that they are doing something wrong. I once knew a mom who's daughter only napped when nursing. And so for more than a year when it was nap time mom settled on the couch and nursed the child through the whole nap. I never said anything to her about this. It wasn't my place to. She wasn't hurting the baby. She was just making her life more complicated than necessary. If this friend asked me for help in breaking this habit I would have been all over it, but until then I needed to let it go.

We parents must stand united. It's how God created us. To depend on each other. To look to Him in our times of need. Parents are often in need and that's why he putts so many experienced parents in our lives.

funny story.

We are at my parents house and all of the gifts have been opened. I am sitting on the couch and I see a garmin. I ask my sister who got it, and she tells me it hers. And I say to her that I have always wanted one and maybe next year I can get one.
Meanwhile my dad hears the exchange, and looks at me with confusion, and says: You didn't get yours?
He then takes off behind the tree and hands me a small wrapped box and explains that he forgot to give it to me earlier.
Oops guess he forgot.
It was another funny and typical moment at my family Christmas.

And by the way. I am really excited to finally have a Garmin, I have been wanting one for so long.


UPDATE:
Funny Story Part 2
Two days after Christmas Paul and I realized that Stephen forgot to give everybody his gifts. When I helped him wrap things he insisted on hiding things in his room. All of the other kids gifts were in bags in my room. On Christmas Eve we got home so late that I didn't remember that he had gifts hidden. We emptied our room of all the gifts and put them under the tree. The chaos of Christmas morning we didn't even notice that we didn't hand anything out that was from him.
So two days after Christmas we got one more handful of gifts.
Love it!

these are a few of my favorite things.

Love Christmas.

Love getting new things.

I got some clothes, which I love.

I got a keurig, which I love

I got a photography book and tripod, which I am excited about

I got rain boots, which I love

The kids got some wonderful gifts including, American Girl doll, New Bikes, Legos, Knex,  Trios,  games, books and so much more.

I love Christmas.

Praise God

calm after the storm.

No, we didn't get any snow. Maybe an inch, which is disappointing for our children. The real storm is the Christmas Storm.

Christmas Eve was celebrated at my in-laws house. We arrived early afternoon and the kids played with existing toys and drooled over the pile of wrapped gifts under the tree. Paul's sister was in town from Oregon, which meant his immediate family was all together. We went to the children's mass and came back to the house for dinner and then it was presents time. All the kids were truly grateful for all of the gifts they received.

When the night was over we headed home. The kids were so tired they dove into their beds forgetting to leave cookies for Santa (so we put some crumbs on a plate and called it a night). Paul and I quickly set up the tree and stockings and we were off to bed ready for the next day.

Ironically I was the first one up. Soon after I went downstairs to make some tea the kids started to arise. They came down and were amazed by the piles of gifts under the tree. While Paul and I got ourselves together the kids tore through their stockings and you would have thought that they were in heaven. The squeals of delight were hysterical. Everything they got was greeted with shouts of joy. After the stockings we began to open presents. And before you know it, wrapping paper was everywhere and we had a house full of happy children.

After gifts, we did breakfast and started to get ready for the next adventure. We headed off to my grandmothers house for a short visit and then to my parents house. At my parents house the kids were once again greeted with a tree stuffed with gifts just for them. Again they tore through every gift and thanked everyone for everything. They were happy with all of it and weren't afraid to let the world know it.

After gifts we had a family dinner and then we all sat back and relaxed and enjoyed a great Christmas celebration. We spent the night at my parents house and came home the next day. Now, two days after Christmas we are slowly trying to find homes for all of our new toys. The kids are a bit overwhelmed by the amount of stuff they have and can hardly figure out what to play with first.

Christmas is my favorite. I love the church celebration as much as I love the family celebration. And I love this week where we can be lazy and enjoy all that we have and all that we have been given.

changes are gonna come.

This week I did something I have been avoided. I started the paperwork process that leads to getting back to the work world. What I have done is not huge but the significance behind it is. I filled out the Child Abuse Clearances, and the Criminal Background Check forms, and I started a rough copy of my resume (which I am rather tempted to post here someday).

This is it. God-willing, 2010 will be marked as the last year that I am a stay at home mom. If all goes well I will become a working-mom once again (does that sound dirty?). I am excited an nervous about this at the same time.

Just so you know I did not really choose to become a SAHM. It chose me, or should I say that God chose that for me? When I had Catherine I was miserable at home. I didn't have a network of friends, I didn't know what to do with myself. When she was three months old I returned to the classroom and never regretted it. Teaching is awesome for many reasons, but one of the great things about it is its holiday breaks. I liked the summers off and the holiday weekends. It fits the family life perfectly.

Since Stephen was born in August I stayed home until November. I went back to work with two kids in day-care and once again it didn't bother me. We were happy. Sure I felt bad that I put Stephen in daycare before he turned one (we had in home care for Catherine the first year), but I knew we were making the decision that was best for our family. When we discovered that we were pregnant again, we knew that I would have to stay home for at least a year (day-care for 3 is ridiculous) until Catherine was pre-school age (older kids child-care is less than little kids). When we discovered that we were having twins we knew then that my career was to go on an indefinite hold.

I was thrown into the world of SAHM because I couldn't afford the child-care that I would need in order to work. I accepted that reality, and dove into the life of an at home mom. To be honest I didn't even think about work for the first two and a half years at home. I was too busy with infant twins, and toddlers. It wasn't until David and Joshua turned 3 that I started to think about the next phase. Now they are four and they go to Kindergarten next year. I can't just think about going back to work, I have to start  applying for work.

I miss working, and I know that its the right thing to do. I don't have any guilt over this decision. Going back to work is a choice between two life-styles. Choice A: Keep the kids in their current school (St. John Vianney) where they are happy and thriving. Be able to buy kids the clothes they need and not fear that we are breaking the bank doing so. Knowing if Paul's car falls into disrepair we can afford to replace it. Be able to afford to replace the rundown/mismatched furniture we currently have. Choice B: Pull the kids from their school so that we can afford all the things listed in choice A.

Paul and I don't have a lot of fancy things. We cut corners where ever possible in an effort to save money. Having a second income would take tremendous financial pressure off of us. We can make it on a single salary, as long as we continue to live simply. I don't want to go back to work simply to afford the finer things in life. I want to go back to work because I want to give my kids what I think they deserve. I love their school, and I would be crushed if we had to take that from them. A huge benefit to working in our diocese is free-tuition. That alone will help us in huge ways. A second salary will allow us to breathe a little bit.

I want to work for Paul's sake. He takes on a lot of stress due to our finances. If I go back to work, he might be able to sleep better at night. He won't freak out when one of our kids decides to outgrow their entire wardrobe over night. I want to work because it's what is best for our family at this time. They no longer need me at home all the time. Once Dave and Josh head off to full-day school what am I supposed to do all day? A housewife I am not. And I do draw a distinction between housewife and SAHM. Both are honorable things to be. I just happen to see myself as a good mom not so much on the housewife stuff. I have tremendous respect for those who do well in the housewife department.

So dear readers, pray for me. Pray that I write the best resume and cover letter out there. Pray that I find the job that is best fit for me and my family. Pray that my nervousness fades over time. Pray for my family. Pray that my kids in 2011 grow in the strength of Christ. Pray that we all can adjust to the changes that will come about when I return to the world of work.

Peace and Merry Christmas.

home made gifting.

Are you enjoying the Christmas craziness yet?
I'm 99% certain that we finished out Christmas shopping this week. I had to wait until this week because we wanted to get Joshua a movie that wasn't out until this past Tuesday. We got each of the other kids movies and we didn't want to leave Josh out.

So that should be it for the shopping. BUT I'm not done yet. A large part of out gifting is also home made stuff. This past weekend we made cookies lots and lots of cookies. This year we got a new cook book to help us expand our selection. All together we made 18 batches of cookies (I have no idea how many dozen that calculates to). Here's a list of cookies we made:

• Chocolate chip
• oatmeal
• oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip
• cookie press (green trees, yellow flowers, red stars)
• cookie cutters
• chocolate shortbread
• ricotta
• holly wreaths

Paul spent a week mixing batters and storing them in our fridge, and this past weekend we spent two days baking non-stop. We filled two 34qt storage bins, and one paper box with cookies. Homemade cookies are a fantastic gift (at least I think so). We can't buy something for every body. It's just too much. Cookies are a great way to show people you are thinking of them, you appreciate them and you care enough to do something for them at Christmas. Paul took a bunch of boxes with him to work for his employees. Then I gave a box to Josh's speech therapist, and two more boxes to my Moms group babysitters.

The second homemade gift that we give out are cookie mixes. I buy recipe books to help me with this project. When we moved I lost about 4 different books which really bummed me out. This year I have about 16 jars to fill. I buy mason jars and the baking ingredients and I layer each one according to the directions. When all is said and done I am handing someone a jar filled with everything they need to make cookies, brownies, muffins etc. Again, it's an inexpensive way to show people how much we care and appreciate them. I give these to teachers, parents, grandparents, and family friends. My guess is that each jar costs me less than $3 to make, and it looks like so much more than that. It's the time and effort that I put into it that people can really see.

And finally this year my kids are doing a lot of crafts for their aunts and uncles. Each child is putting together a gift bag filled with homemade crafts for their godparents. The each have three different things to make and put in the bag and then I will add something small to each one. My brothers and sisters ought to see it for what it is. Something that my kids are taking a great deal of time and effort to do. It takes a lot of energy to sit down and carefully work on each project. Catherine, for example, knows that she is making her things for Uncle Dom, and she is working very intently on her projects for him. My intention is that my brother will see this effort and really appreciate his gift. It's more fun and less stressful than wondering the stores trying to figure out what to get for him.

I think homemade gifts are the best.

cheer up.

hey everybody have you heard? Christmas is 10 days away.

The world around me couldn't be more miserable. I sign onto FB and it's one complaint after another.

Come one have some fun. And if your feeling sick (which many people are), go to bed. Stop trying to tough it out. Get the rest you need and get better. I'll pray that you do.

See the potential for joy all around. The decorated houses. A lit Christmas tree. Don't have one of those yet? no worries, go visit someone who does.

Not finished your shopping? so what. You'll get it done when you can.

I mean really if these are your biggest complaints then you are doing just fine. Don't sweat the small stuff. Seriously!

I suppose really ya'll should just take a look inward and maybe realize how self-absorbed the constant complaining sounds. (did that sound harsh?)

It's one thing to vent on occasion, but this constant woe-is-me behavior has got to stop. Life is good if you only let it be.

I make a conscious effort to not complain and I'll tell you what it feels good. Sometimes I'm at loss for a good tweet because I want to complain. Then I realize it's okay to go silent. My ten followers most likely won't notice. When I do complain I try to think of something positive. Something that I am grateful for. It makes a difference. Really.

Well that's it for now. I have to go. Paul is late coming home from work. The kids are all beading*. And I have to start cleaning and prepping for dinner.



*beading= perler beads an inexpensive art project for the kids, we have buckets of beads and the kids love to spend hours working on project. Tiny beads go onto peg boards, when the peg boards are filled you use a special paper and iron them. I'm telling you this gives them hours of entertainment. 

little triumph.

My daughter is receiving the Sacrament of First Penance tonight. I find this to be a tremendous accomplishment on our part.
The day my daughter was born I looked at her tiny little body snuggled against mine, and I could have seen this moment. I was there in that moment basking in the wonder of the gift I had been given.
I pray that God sees that we took her this far. We took the first steps, we baptized her. We chose her Church. We are molding her into who we pray is what God intends for her. We are trying to make a Saint out of her.
Tonight is her next big step to Sainthood. She has to begin to confess her sins. One by one. Lay them out. Be forgiven. And do it all again for the rest of her life. She is being made ready for heaven and I am loving it.
I'm really hopeful that she can feel the grace that will pour out on her during this sacrament. I hope that she sees it for the beauty that it is. I pray that in the future she uses this sacrament to her advantage. That she takes the grace given and grows into the powerful saint I know she will be.
I didn't see this night when she was born. I couldn't see past that moment. But now I can look back to all that we have done and I can see how we got here and I am so grateful that we made it. I see where she is going and I am praying that she gets there gracefully.
Only a few more months and she will be receiving First Eucharist. It doesn't get any better than this.

split decision.

I have talked about this once before. I own a steamer and once upon a time I thought it was a useless thing to have. Then I used it. Now I have a love hate relationship with it.
Evidence suggests that steam cleaners are all the rage right now. The problem is they actually work. Well at least the one I have works. It's a pain to wield but the job it does is amazing. The lazy bones in me hates lugging the thing out to do my cleaning.
I have decided I want an upgrade. I am torn between the shark  and the bissell. Currently I have a hand vac that is great on the wood and tile surfaces. My entire first floor is wood and tile and I often vacuum the entire surface in about 20 minutes (with stops to deal with kiddies). Really my vacuum set is the best ever. It's a simplicity upright and a separate canister for smaller jobs.  My mother in law bought it for us for a housewarming gift and I could not be happier with it.
The steam and sweep would potential cut the need for me to break out my vacuum. But because I have such a nice vacuum and it's way easier than sweeping for the big jobs I could get away with the smaller and more affordable steamer.
Paul and I are done with Christmas shopping for the year and these items were not on my wish list. I am hopeful that maybe in the spring I can acquire one.

more on brothers and sister.

I was thinking more about the story I told about Catherine getting up once because of her newborn brother. People often ask about the twins and where they sleep and slept when they were babies. When they first came home we had the bassinets and had two. After a few weeks we upgraded to a crib and only one crib for the both of them.

The bassinets took up too much room and they were out growing them. They shared a crib for several months. We did this mainly because of space. We were still sharing a room with them at the time. They liked being in the same crib, or at least they didn't seam to mind it. We didn't separate them until they started kicking each other in the face (aren't I a good mother?).

Durring the day we kept the boys on the same schedule. I did most days on my own so I always fed one right after the other. They napped together as well. Now, all parents know that every baby is different so sometimes my grand plan of keeping them on the same schedule didn't always work out. And just for clarity sake we did not keep them on the same schedule overnight, Paul and I split the duty he would take care of one baby all night while I did the other. Here's what I quickly learned. Overnight the boys would stir at the sounds of each others cries, but never awaken fully. I can't think of a time (maybe I blocked it out) when one baby cried enough to wake the other.

This is a sure sign of the sibling bond, at least that's what I'd like to think. Catherine learned that crying babies were nothing to worry about, and so did each of the boys. Just this week David woke up overnight crying and when we got to him we find Josh on the top bunk sound asleep while Dave is crying away. Really the only time we had an issue with one child waking another up was in the first few weeks of putting all three boys in the same room. If David or Joshua would wake up Stephen would get out of bed and try to bring them to us. After a while Stephen learned to sleep through it as well (and besides they really don't wake up all that often).

Though my kids are unaffected by each others nighttime crying they are affected by daytime emotions. Just recently David was in our kitchen and told us that Josh was crying and something was wrong. Just as David said it we heard Josh and went to go investigate. The boys were on the opposite side of the house and how David heard him I will never know. The point is that they look out for each other. On a very basic level they take care of each other. If one is hurt they all come running.

I can't tell you how many times there has been a parade of children walking through the house to find me after a scraped knee or some other injury. Granted sometimes they come in to make sure that they aren't in trouble for letting one get hurt, but most of the time its to make sure that they get the help they need.

I find it endearing that they look after each other. I find it amusing when they come in to listen to each others stories so that they can defend their actions. I find it impressive that they can sleep through each others rough nights.

the tornado (a short story)

3:00 pm and alls somewhat quiet. Two four year olds can be found in the playroom working through some game or another. Mom is sweeping the dining room floor wondering how it got this bad in 24 hours. Then she remembers it might have been 48 hours since the last sweeping, oh and she might need to pull out the steamer but not today no time.
3:05 pm it's still quiet the floor is almost swept and now Mom is thinking about the dishes in the sink. Does her husband need the mixer tonight? Can I put it away. The meat isn't all the way defrosted. The trash is full.
3:07pm (maybe no one was looking at the clock) The low roar of a bus can be heard and it happens. Doors slam open and the noise blows through the house. Trampling feet in search of mom and they find her slam into her with hugs and shouts and just like that it's on. The four year olds surface in excitement. Bags are strewn about coats, hats, gloves are strewn about.
In an effort to control something Mom beckons that the coats and gloves and hats make it to their places, somehow her cry is heard.
The chaos of after school lasts for about five minutes. Three of my kids are bundled up and outside. One is hiding in his room (too tired after a long day of school he hangs in his room in an effort to recharge).

Ahh.. the five year old just found me, he needs some mommy time. Gotta go...

The floor is swept but the dishes are not tended to.

bond of brothers. and sister.

Catherine was 2 years old when Stephen was born. For two years she lived the single child life. I remember her cautious attitude toward Stephen when she first met him. It was hard for her to understand that he was a permanent structure in our household. But it only took her a few days to come to realize what it meant to have him in the house. And Catherine being a very smart girl figured out just how serious an adjustment she had to make. 

One thing I'll never forget is one of our first nights home with Stephen. Stephen had no warning system when he was hungry. He went from silent sleeper to screamer in no time. It was a midnight feeding and I was taking Steve downstairs to get his bottle ready and out of her room pops Catherine. She had that drunken look on her face, wobbly on her feet she just looked at me with sad confused eyes and said "mommy what's happening?" Paul the wonder that he is heard the exchange and quickly ushered her back to be before she fully awakened. 

That is the only time that I can recall her ever getting out of bed when one of her brothers got up in the middle of the night. That night Stephen's cries startled her because it was a new sound, but once she knew what it was and how it would effect her (or not as the case was) it never bothered her at night again. Notice here how I said at night?  Stephen cried during the day as well and once again Catherine had to figure out how this would effect her. After a few days she noticed that when Stephen cried I picked him up changed his diapers and fed him. She noticed that if we held him he wouldn't cry. Catherine's problem, in these early days, was that Stephen made too much noise. So, whenever he would cry Catherine would run to me and run the litany: "Mommy, pick him up, feed him, change him, hold him please he needs you." And before you go awww, realize that this was not so much her way of tending to his needs, but a tending to her need to have her world restored to quiet. Okay, it was still adorable. 

It wasn't until months later that Stephen's presence really took it's toll on her. An infant takes mom's attention, which Catherine never really needed, a mobile baby takes toys. And a two and half year old girl had to learn what sharing was...

It's funny how those details are so vivid in my mind, but the early days of David and Joshua are lost. The transition from two to four was rough. I don't have baby books for my any of my kids. I don't have milestone charts. When the doctors asked me when Catherine hit milestones I could tell you (1st teeth at 6mos, crawl at 9mos walk at 13mos...), Stephen I could approximate (crawl at 7mos). David and Joshua I could only tell you that they hit them (I know that Joshua crawled first, but David walked first). I do remember that Catherine had virtually no reaction to having two more brothers. 

There was no waking up with them on their first nights home, or a rush for me to shut them up. By the time they came around Stephen made enough noise that the hope of ever returning to a quiet life was gone and at 3 she had given up. Catherine also knew how to gain the system. She discovered that if she didn't nap she had quiet time with me. She discovered that her room was her sanctuary and that it was her space and no one else's. 

ASIDE: What I really wanted to explore here was how each of my children share an incredibly unique bond. Funny how this post is developing into an exploration on how my kids learned to navigate their world as they grew. 

In the early weeks of having the twins home we had Catherine in daycare. At the time Stephen was home with me at 10/11 months. What Stephen discovered was my vulnerability when I was feeding the boys. By some miracle I had learned to breastfeed and did so with Joshua (out of my four he is the only one, I can explain if you want). Stephen would watch for me to sit down with Joshua and he would take off and try to break through the baby gates. He made it out a few times and he knew that I couldn't get to him until I was done.

The other thing I remember with fondness is Catherine and Stephens ability to spot an empty lap. They would watch and stand by closely whenever I was feeding the boys. They knew that both brothers would have to eat before I could put them down in their chairs and swings. And the second I would be finished with feeding, one (either Cate or Steve) of them would slide into my lap. They would ask for nothing. Sometimes they would bring a sippy cup over and drink while lounging. Other times they would just sit. 

The older two realized that the little ones needed me first, but I would always make time for them. 

The dynamics of the four kids is something amazing. Observing them is a treat. Catherine responded to her brothers much differently than Stephen. Catherine didn't want them to invade her space, but once they did and she accepted that she created her own space they couldn't get to (she still does that). She also has become their guardian, since very early on she has looked after them in her own way. She almost always jumps up to help them whenever she can. Stephen was her space invader and to this day she gets along with the twins better than she does Stephen. Stephen has adopted his brothers as his constant playmates. He's so close to them in age that they can almost always do all of the same things. Stephen uses his status as the older one to be in charge of playtime. He guides them and shows them the ropes. He also loves to be the ringleader when it comes to causing trouble, but somehow maintains his innocence. He looks to Catherine for guidance and when she wants in on the play he tries to let her be in charge. 

Check back in a few days. I think I will dive more into this sibling relationship thing. I want to share more on what I have noticed with David and Joshua, because twins are truly fascinating. 

Decorating with kids.

A friend of mine inspired me to at least start this post. She mused a few days ago about needing to learn to let go of her control in the decorating process. This friend has only one baby who is fast approaching his first birthday, and because I don't actually get to see or speak to her ever I can only guess that he is starting to cause her to rethink some decorations. 

Anyway what it made me think of is how my decorating has evolved over the years. 9 (2002) years ago Paul and I celebrated our first Christmas as a married couple in an apartment with a sparsely decorated tree and two cheap glitter painted stockings. My belly was swelling hinting at the little one to make her arrival in a few short months. That year we decided that each year we would pick up a few things here and there to add to our decor. 

Year two (2003): We had moved from an apartment to a house, the catch? The living room and dining room were all one room. Not much space for a tree and a six month old girl and all the baby things. We added lights to our decorations, and a few new tree ornaments. 

It was year three (2004) that made all the difference.. This time we had a mobile 18 month old and a tired secretly pregnant mommy. Up went the tacky baby gates to keep our darling from the stairs, and the tree. Yes, we fenced the tree. Remember, we have one room as our primary living space. So not only did we put a fence around the tree to keep our curious daughter away, but we discovered the dangers of low lying tree ornaments. It was a sight to behold. The tree was bare from the bottom to about the 3 foot mark (where Catherine's reach extended). 

Years four (2005) and five (06) and six (07) were about the same. As year four gave us a 2 1/2 year old girl, a 4 month old boy, and a tired not-as-secret pregnant with twins mommy. Year five Catherine is 3, Stephen is 1 and the twins are 6 months. well, you get the idea. For several years we had small kids with sticky fingers. Tight living quarters did not make for an easy Christmas set-up. Year after year Paul and I would decorate our tree and celebrate the hilarity of having the ugly baby fence around the tree and the bottom three feet undecorated.

What sets year six apart from the others is that Catherine was 4 which meant she was in pre-school. Soon  she was coming home with decorations that she made at school. What to do. what to do. Embrace the childhood creations! I remember coming home every year around Christmas time with handmade tree ornaments for my parents. Some would have our pictures, some would not. My parents still have most of them, and they still hang them up. And starting that year we would have the same thing. In addition to the tree ornaments, come the wall art. In general I am not a saver, but holiday themed decor I have kept it all. Every year I pull out the Christmas buckets and lo and behold among the candle holders, reindeer and other such things are hand crafted pieces of art on construction paper. I put it all up with as much pride as anything else. 

Years 7 (2008) and 8 (09) And our boys were getting older, and so we removed the baby gate. We still had to carefully place each ornament. We let them take more of an active roll in putting them up. And the best part of allowing the kids to help hang ornaments? We progressed from having the bottom three foot section empty to overflowing with decorations (that being the only place they can reach). Our rule then is, if we catch you touching an ornament then we will move it to the top of the tree. So by Christmas the ornaments are all up high and out of reach. 

And now here we are... 2010 and everything has changed. We moved to a new house. We don't even own baby gates anymore. And we are no longer in the land of one room living. The tree is up, and the bottom is chock full of decorations and we aren't even half way through yet. We have Stephen's pre-school artwork and Catherine's art-work from the past 2 years up with pride. This year we will add things from all four kids to our collection and I could not be more excited about that. 

This year I pulled out a nativity scene that has been in a box since we got it. We have always owned two but were only able to put up one on our mantle. This other one is lovely and we have just the place for it in this hand. With my littlest ones now four they are less likely to break or damage the nicer things that I have been avoiding for years. I love spreading our decorations among many rooms, and of course it now looks as though I don't have much at all. Our store bought decor mixes well will the kids handmade art, and all of it screams family. 

Every year Paul and I try to add to our decor. We cannot spend a lot all at once so each year we pick up a few things. This years decorating budget went to the outside. Two small strands of lights just weren't going to cut it. A two story colonial needs more than a small front porch of a row home. 

I truly enjoy the evolution of our Christmas decorating.  I like letting the kids help. I love the homemade keep sakes. When my kids get old I want them to remember Christmas as something fun. I want them to look at our tree ornaments and pull from them fond memories of their childhood as I do when I go home and see mine on my parents tree. I remember my dad holding out our special ornament that is marked with our birthday for us to put up. I try to do the same for my kids (I had an ornament engraved for each of the kids). I remember putting up our handmade stocking on Christmas eve (I still haven't finished my kids stockings, but more on that later). 

I have many great memories of my childhood that involve Christmas and decorating, and I want for my children to have the same. This friend who wants to let go of control... she can if she wants, or she doesn't have to. I can remember not being allowed to put anything on the tree until my dad had all the lights just the way he wanted. I can remember him guiding us where to put certain ornaments. Even when he was here this weekend watching me light my tree he was giving me directions. It's part of the tradition, and I'm not sure that there is a right or wrong way to do it. 

The blaming game.

My daughter is currently preparing for the sacrament of first Penance. She will be receiving the sacrament in December. Part of her preparation is to learn about sin. As an adult, I don't give this subject much thought of course I understand what is a sin and what is not. But my daughter is 7, her understanding of sin is much different. 

Since my kids were babies we have taught them right from wrong. Before they could speak they understood what the word "no" meant. For a baby right from wrong is really what is safe versus what isn't safe. Think about it, most of our no's relate to keeping baby safe. 

No don't climb the stairs

No don't eat food from the floor (that's a lie I don't think I ever said that)

No don't walk into the street

No don't walk away from me

No don't touch sharp/breakable objects

As they get bigger we stem from safety to more behavioral things.

Don't throw your food on the floor

Don't take from brother or sister

No shouting inside or at a store

The experts tell us not to fill our children's heads with only negatives, focus on positives. Those lessons are also part of discipline. 

Saying please and thank you.

Put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket. 

Pick up your toys.

We start to teach our kids right from wrong very early on. And when they reach a certain age they become more capable of making choices. How many times have you said no and your child looks at you and does the thing anyway? Somewhere around age 1 or 2 our children decide it's time to test their boundaries. They choose not to listen to us, and now we have to step up and respond appropriately. A two year old doesn't know he is sinning he only wants to know what will happen if he doesn't listen. 

So our teaching our children right from wrong includes punishments and positive reinforcements. I have done it all.

Hand slaps

Butt spankings

Time outs

Take away privileges (including toys)

Thanked them for doing a good job

Rewarded them for extra good behavior

It seams to me that children progress in their understanding of right from wrong with age. As they get older they become more capable of understanding actions versus reactions. They learn that if they run into the street they will not be allowed outside for a while. If they don't clean up they will not be allowed to play with toys for a while. Every choice has its reward. The tricky part is when they don't care about the consequences that come with their choices (this is what makes parenting such a roller coaster). 

Back to my daughter... At age seven she is learning about choices. Her religion text has reviewed with her the difference between choice and accident. Did someone choose to hurt you or was it an accident? This is one of the key components to sin: Choice. Sin is a choice to do something that is wrong. She is learning how to think about what she is going to do before she does it. What a lesson we all must practice daily! Sin comes in many shapes and sizes. Sin happens upon deep thought, and impulsive actions too. 

Now that she understands that sin is a choice, she gets into the next lesson: Forgiveness. Realizing your sin and asking for forgiveness then making the promise to sin no more. She is learning about accepting responsibility for her own actions. And that is what I really want to talk about.

Catherine is an emotional little girl. She runs hot and cold, very rarely is she anything in between. She challenges me on a daily basis. My family and friends always rave about how wonderful Catherine is, I often get complimented on her sweet nature. All of these things are true. She is sweet and wonderful and full of excitement. However (you knew this was coming), when she is at home she can be quite the opposite of sweet and wonderful. She fights and throws fits with the best of them. At times I am at a loss as to how to handle her outbursts. Most days she sent to her room where she will shout and carry on for upwards of 30 minutes (Her worst moment lasted an entire day off and on). 

Now that she is learning about sin and choices I attempt to use these outbursts as teaching moments: 

Do you realize you are making a bad choice right now?

Talking to me this way is a sin. 

It breaks the commandments when you behave in this manner. 

You get the idea. Sometimes I jump in a shout right back at her, then I realize that this is only leading to failure and so I step back and wait for the storm to pass. When it does it's time to sit and talk about what is really going on. The inevitable question: How did we get here?  In a calmed state I often try to talk to Catherine about the choices she made that got her into trouble in the first place. The biggest obstacle that she faces is her inability to accept responsibility for her actions. 

If you didn't do this... If Stephen/David/Joshua didn't say... She wants to place the blame on somebody else. It couldn't possibly be her fault. 

This past weekend she had a friend come over to play. Before her friend came over we talked to Catherine about her room. We told her that at the end of the day it would be her responsibility to clean up the room (no matter how messy it got), and that she should think about that when choosing what to take out and play with. Sure enough the two girls played the day away and after K went home for the night Catherine's room was a total disaster. And as soon as we sent Catherine in there to clean up the mess the fight began. In the midst of the clean-up she was angry. She blamed K for wanting to play with her things. She said she never wanted K to come over to play ever again. I go in there as calm as I can and remind her that this is what we talked about before she came over. 

The thing is, that if Catherine admits that the messy room is her doing than she has to suck it up and clean it herself. If she can somehow convince me that it wasn't her doing than maybe I'll take pity on her and clean with her. In the end, we win and her room is clean... but we didn't win just yet. The real problem wasn't the mess, it was the fact that she can't take responsibility for it. I see this becoming a life-long struggle. 

Blaming someone else for our wrong choices goes back to Adam and Eve. Think about it. The Lord asks Adam, who told you to eat the fruit? Adam replies, Eve. The Lord asks Eve, who told you to eat the fruit? Eve replies, the serpent. They were so afraid to face the Lord and his punishment that they thought it would be better if it wasn't their fault. 

One of the many lessons revealed in the Adam and Eve story is that you can't hide behind blame. Sin is about making choices and when you choose to do something that is wrong when you know that it's wrong you are sinning. 

So, day to day we have to explain this to Catherine. It wasn't her friends fault that she was having a meltdown about cleaning her room. That was her own choosing. Yes she had help making a big mess, but she wasn't in trouble for making the mess. She was in trouble for fussing about cleaning the mess. It was Catherine that choose to make a big deal about cleaning. She started talking back to us and refusing to do her job. But in her mind, she shouldn't have to clean up a mess that wasn't her fault in the first place. See? Back to the blame. It wasn't my fault. 

But that's rarely true. The sins we commit are always our fault. We can't blame anyone else but ourselves. or can we? Can we blame the serpent? After all, he does make the fruit so enticing. Didn't he tell Eve that God mislead her? He made that fruit seem like the best idea in the world. Maybe it was the serpents fault? or maybe... Eve still had a choice to make. At the end of the day she gave into temptation. And so do we. I know it's a terrible idea to keep eating the chocolate, but I still do it. I'm giving in. No one is making me eat the chocolate. No one is forcing me. If I am forced then it's not a choice. I have to live by my choices. And I can't blame anyone else for my mistakes. I need to own them. I need to teach my children to own their mistakes. 

Maybe this seams like an uphill battle. On some level it is. Week after week I have the same conversations with my daughter, and soon I'm sure I will have them with my sons. I can't stop having these conversations. I can't stop demanding nothing but the best from my sons and daughter. I must teach them again and again to own their sins, seek forgiveness for them, and work to commit them no more. 

It drives me crazy that they blame other people for their wrong doings, and I will work tirelessly to show them that it just won't work. 

Praying through it.

Something that I have been working on is prayer. I don't pray enough. I'm very conscious of complaining too much or even asking for too much. I'm afraid of being judged harshly. So, I don't pray enough.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Not all prayer is complaints or begging for things. Some prayer is for giving thanks. I try really hard to direct most, if not all, of my prayer to giving thanks. And, when I don't I feel as though I have failed.
Right now, as I am writing this, I know that this is not even close to true. I know that I am not a failure. I know that I am not perfect as well. I also know that I need to pray more. I need to shift my focus to Our Lord.
I should take the time to ask for the things I need. I should take the time to lay all my faults and failings out there. Right? Of course I should. But I am a weak and fearful child. I don't know why I am so afraid to just lay it out there. I don't know why I am afraid to ask for the things I need, or to even cry about the struggles I face.
Sometimes I do feel as though my struggles aren't worth the Lords time. (He's got bigger things to deal with) I do have to remember that I am just as important as the person next to me. That no problem is too big or too small for our Lord to here.
In addition to my need to lay down the bad stuff I need to offer more thanksgiving. I don't thank God enough. Once upon a time, I was told to thank God every day for something. No matter what my day was like I had to thank God for one thing, and consider it a personal failing if I didn't. At the time I was in a dark place and this was my Saviors (Holy Spirit working through his servant) way of getting me through it. I did get through it. In those days I made three promises that I had to keep daily. And thanking God was one of them. I kept it. And I am convinced that simple prayer saved my soul.
So here I am, not quite in a dark place. Maybe a bit shadowy at times... But here never-the-less I see a great need in my life to increase my prayers.
I need to ask the Lord for the things I need.
I need to thank the Lord for the things I have.
My days need to be filled with prayers. Pray will shine light so bright that the shadows can't break through. And so the question is: If I know that this is what I need, why am I having such a hard time doing it?

me and make-up.

I don't wear make-up. There I said it. Of course if you look at photos of me that fact becomes painfully obvious.
I have been cursed blessed with very poor skin. When I was a teenager with the breakouts all over I kept thinking I just have to get past this puberty thing and I'll be fine. By the time I hit my 20s my skin will clear and this will be a distant memory of awkward teenager hood.
Well... I'm thirty and my face still breaks out constantly. Nothing that I am willing to try has ever worked. So I just live with it. Not much else I can do about it.
This next part I do not mean to blame my mom or anyone else but it has to be said... The constant break-outs are one reason I don't wear make-up. I always feel that putting on make-up to cover the break-outs only highlights them and draws more attention.
The bigger reason that I don't wear it is because I never truly learned how to wear it, nor did I ever develop that ritual most women have. There was no magical coming of age mommy and daughter moment wear she showed me how to apply certain products.
Part of it may have been that my mom worked a lot in order for us to have the things we did (i.e. private schools, food, clothing). Part of it may have been that I was the middle of five kids and that kept my mom really busy. Part of it may have been that I didn't show much interest. I wasn't exactly the girlie girl back then.
In high school I owned a lot of flannel, over sized jeans, listed to alternative music, and only ever wore chuck taylors. (By the way I so want a pair of chucks for christmas) I didn't spend time fixing my hair. I got up I showered ran a brush through my locks grabbed a rubber band and went on my way. I think I got it cut once a year.
So my lack of knowledge of make-up was no ones fault. I just never figured it out. I think it was a time thing too. I couldn't be bothered to spend the time putting stuff on. I would wear some one day and then not the next.
Here I am at age 30. I own few make-up items. I had to look up instructions on how to wear eye shadow a few months back (I wanted to get it right). I very rarely put it on. At this point only if I am getting dressed up for some big thing do I bother.
It has never been a modesty thing, though that would be the nicer story to tell. I could say that I don't want to be vain about my looks. I don't want to obsess about my appearance. I will never be that girl that feels horrified when people see me without make-up. Instead, I am horrified when my breakouts are at their worse (but still do nothing to hide them). In truth, I really don't care that much. I never have.
It wasn't until about a year and half ago that I started taking the time to do my hair on a regular basis. Now it's something I do almost daily. And when I am in a rush, like today, I just throw on a hat. It's the short hair that does it. For years I had long hair and I would just pull it back, day after day. I finally got the never to cut it short. Short hair means no pulling it back. Short hair means daily maintenance.  I like it short, but I am ready to go back to longer hair for a while.
I like the low maintenance lifestyle. And really at the end of the day. Looks don't matter.

The best $30 I ever spent.

This week has been a very trying one at best. I wrote earlier about my fight with the cold. I am winning by the way.

My fight with poison ivy? I am losing. back in August I had my first experience with it and it was horrible. I didn't even know I had it in my yard. And about two weeks after I started cleaning out the backyard overgrowth I broke out. It was bad. My legs and arms were covered. After prolonged suffering I went to the doctor and got drugs and a shot. The shot hurt like I couldn't have expected. But after a few days my angry red splotches faded into a lovely map of brownish scars and then faded away completely.
So weeks pass and my husband tries to conquer our overgrowth. He wasn't fully covered and he broke out all over his arms and legs. His clears up and we again attempt to go bring down the poison ivy. I was protected head to toe. As soon as we were done for the day I threw out my gloves and tossed my clothes in the wash.
A week later and the blisters and splotches are coming on. So here we go again.

But really that's not the point of this post. It's been a miserable week for sure. But my boys have been awesome! Only problem is that I scheduled a family portrait for today, and I am far from ready. My nose is a lovely shade of red from all the nose blowing. This years photo will look great with my dried cracked skin. And the breakouts, that's been fun this week too. Meanwhile, my boys.... Their hair was out of control.
I have three boys. And they are "all boy." Meaning, they run, they play, they tackle, they don't sit still for very long. Also, have you seen the price of kids hair cuts these days $12 at the cheap places! A few years ago I discovered the joy and ease of the buzz cut. Why not just shave it off for the summer. It's only hair.
Last Summer I realized that I shouldn't be paying upwards of $40 every few weeks to keep my boys hair tamed. Is is me or does boys hair grow faster? I take Catherine twice a year, and the boys every 3 months. I finally went out and invested in some clippers. I gave it a try in the spring and it turns out buzz cuts are amazingly easy. Later I went out and got a cape to contain the mess. In the spring and summer I take off their shirts stand them on a stool and buzz away. I have come to realize the only thing I still need is trimmers to do the neck and ears. I get by with what I have now, but eventually I would like to have the trimmers.

I'll tell you what. This is so much easier than taking them out to get their hair cut. I will try to learn how to do more than just buzzing, but for now it works. I don't have to wait in line, deal with energetic kids, and I can do it when I feel like it. The clippers paid for themselves in the first use. Since I bought them last spring I figure I have saved well over $100 in hair cuts. Yesterday I cleaned up the twins so they would be ready for todays pictures.
Take a look:

Before (it's really bad around ears and back)

After: boy has a crooked forehead. I had to shave his forehead. :)

Before

After:

waiting.

Right now I am waiting for Stephen to get off the bus. This will be the second time he is riding the bus home without his big sister.
I am not usually a worrier. I don't even miss my kids when they are gone. BUT... he is only five and he's a little forgetful sometimes, so riding a big 'ol school bus all by himself is kind of a big deal.
Clearly I am not that concerned because I am still not going to stand in the rain to catch him at is stop. Nope, I am here in the comfort of my house. Waiting for him to come through the garage door. Oh stop freaking out and thinking horrible things about me. The bus drops him off right in front of the house. All he has to do is cross the street and walk up the driveway. He's a big boy he can do it. ;)

I'm also waiting for my house to clean itself. But it won't.

This week I have been sick. I am coming to terms with a serious issue with greasy foods. It turns out I have virtually no tolerance for greasy food. I eat them and then I get very sick. That was my Sunday night into Monday Morning.
By the afternoon I felt better. I did some light cleaning and went on with my day.
Monday night came and I felt the first signs of a cold. Tuesday I woke up and knew I was in trouble.
I got hit up with heavy congestion and some lovely body aches to boot. Tuesday the twins and I ran some morning errands, which included a trip to CVS. I stocked up on some meds and made my way home.

This week I took on some of the dinner responsibilities, which means I set up the crock-pot. I did that both for Monday and Tuesday. By Tuesday afternoon I got in my customary load of laundry, did the daily dishes, and that was it.

Wednesday came and still not much better. I switched from the Nyquill family of products over to sudafed. The body aches disappeared and by afternoon I felt a little bit more functional. So on top of my daily load of laundry and dishes, I swept the kitchen floor, and put some things away that have been lying around the house.

Today is Thursday. I am clearly on the mend but not totally better yet. I can now take off body aches as a symptom and add sinus headache that makes you want to cry like a baby when you bend over to pick something up.

My poor gross bathrooms will have to wait one more day for much needed attention. But at least my floors are swept and most of my counters are cleaned.

What I am thankful for is David and Joshua who have been awesome this week. They are stuck with me and my crabby sickies, and they are right now downstairs playing nicely.

My latest creation.

Last year my sister in law announced the pending birth of my first nephew. We were all so excited to have another baby join our family. And I was even more excited to finally be an Aunt.
I decided to do something special for Nathan and I set out to make a blanket for him. It went surprisingly well and I really enjoyed the project.
Before you get all impressed know that I ended up finding a quilting kit at AC Moore. It made everything so simple. When I was done it wasn't perfect but it was something personally to give to my sister for the baby.
I went on to make two more blankets for my dear friend who was due with twins.
The first blanket I made was a bold mix of bright greens and yellows. For my second set I did a traditional baby pink and baby blue.
Well now I have two more cousins due with babies right around the same time. Yesterday I completed the blanket for the girl.

Here's the first row complete.

Here is the completed project.

This time I added batting to it to make it thicker and warmer. I also added edging and the quilting stitch. The kits directions are so basic, but as I do more of them I get better and feel more confident in my abilities. 

I can't wait to get started on the next one.

Like it?

love it. hate it. cleaning.

Cleaning my kitchen floor has always been one of my least favorite chores. Problem is it has to be done. At least once a week. Problem is I procrastinate. So at my worst it goes three weeks. This time around it's been about 3 weeks since a true scrub. So I broke out the big gun. The steam cleaner. So this was a christmas gift from my mother-in-law. She got sucked into the whole infomercial hype and bought me one with all the attachments.
I let it sit in my basement for a year before I pulled it out to try it. Until then I only used my swiffer. I finally pulled the thing out hooked it up and went to town.
My official review of the monster steam, is that it works great but is a pain to use. The bad: It's bulky. I have to fill the thing with water and then wait for it to heat. The pad doesn't sit on the mop properly. The good: I don't need soap. It cleans everything so quickly. And the floor dries quickly with no stickiness left behind.
I still use the swiffer on a regular basis but I am falling out of love with it. Though it's wasteful to use the wet-jet pads (versus the washable cloth on the steamer) it sure is super convenient. The floor gets done in half the time then it does with the steamer. One of my biggest pet-peaves of cleaning is that I have to clean up after I've cleaned. With the steamer I have to wait for the thing to cool then dump the left over water and then I can put it away. With the swiffer I tear off the used pad throw it away and I am done.
I am no longer a big fan of the swiffer because I don't think it works as well as it used to. I go through two pads (when the box claims I should be able to do two rooms with one pad) in my kitchen. And it leaves behind a little bit of stickiness sometimes.
So when my floor gets really bad I pull out my monster steam cleaner and get the job done. But for the quick cleans my swiffer does the job.

testing 1.2.3.

This post is mainly a test to see how the Amazon associates thing works. 

I have decided I need a  Bread Box. We store our bread on top of the microwave, which turns out to be a bad idea. The bread goes stale much too quickly. Also, we have mice. And mice like bread.

I got an exterminator yesterday. So hopefully the mice will be gone soon. 

I still want a bread box. 

By the way, this mice thing is driving me crazy. I keep finding spots where they have been and I have been cleaning like a madwomen. 

I have washed the floors and scrubbed counters twice. Just this morning I found another spot that I now I have to strip down and clean. It's the shelf where we keep all of our serving dishes and place mats. So now I have to wash all the place mats and scrub serving dishes we rarely use. 

Stupid mice. 

My yearly panic.

Paul leaves tomorrow for four days and I am in a panic about it. Don't worry, I know how pathetic this is. I have several friends who's husbands travel weekly for their jobs. Mine doesn't.
He comes home every night at 4pm. He helps make dinner (correction: he makes dinner). He helps with clean-up after dinner. Paul helps supervise the kids as they get dressed for bed, he brushes teeth while I do stories.
He's there. Every night. Way back in the day in the early weeks of having 4 kids under the age of 3 my survival was rooted in Paul's consistent work schedule. I didn't have a whole lot of help at home. I did most of it on my own. At least until 4pm. I can recall the days of living hour to hour. Knowing that if I could make it till 4pm everything would be fine.
So there it is. Even now, I live for 4pm. I look forward to Paul's entry everyday. Knowing that if I am having a bad day it will somehow get better then. Or if it's a good day I can share it with him.
My kids don't nap, they haven't in over two years now. By mid-afternoon they are tired, and getting restless. It's nice to have that reinforcement right when I need it most. When they were babies, Paul would be coming home just as they were waking up from the afternoon nap. That afternoon was always the longest stretch of awake time before bed. I rely on that break. I am no longer alone. Now that they are older  I need that help more than ever. He comes home and I am trying to organize their school papers. Catherine is doing homework, Stephen is on the edge because he's tired from a long day of school. David and Joshua are on the hunt for trouble because they have been home all day waiting for their brother to get home.
Mornings are easy. Afternoons are not.
So there you have it. Starting tomorrow and lasting until Saturday, my reinforcement will not be here. I won't have a break until the kids are in bed at 7. I will have to cook dinner. I will have to clean up from dinner. I will have to supervise clean-up. I will have to get kids showered and dressed for bed. I will have to brush teeth and do stories. All without my normal help.
It's truly a cause for panic because it is not my normal. I like my normal. I like consistency and I do not like this annual break from it.
Like I said, I know that this is pathetic. I know most moms cook and clean up without help nightly. I get it, that this is not supposed to be a big deal. But for me it is.
I have been blessed with a husband who does these things for me. And I thank God everyday for it. I have been blessed with a husband who has a job with such a family friendly schedule. And for that I thank God.
I am thankful for the blessings I have. I do not dare take them for granted. In the end, I know that I will be fine this week. Every year I worry. And every year I get through it just fine. That's faith in action.
I will always remember when Paul went back to work after the twins were born. It was a monday morning and he kissed me goodbye. I sat there and thought, can I really do this? And before I gave it another thought Paul was walking through the door  (with Catherine in tow) to find Stephen playing on the floor, David propped on the pillow next to me and Joshua nursing in my arms. He dropped his bags sat down and picked up David to finish feeding him. It took me a good three months to wake up and realize that not only could I do it, but I was doing it.
So I panic today. And I'll kiss Paul good bye thinking to myself, can I do this? And the next time I think of it will be when he walks through the door on Saturday.

1 Cor 10: 12-13

My little bookworm.

I saw an article the other day about the rising number of young bloggers and how they can impact readers, and how it gives them a head start in understanding technology and the workings of the internet. I thought about my 7 year old, what would she write about if I let her blog?
I think I am going to let her try it. She reads. A lot. Sometimes a book a day sometimes even more than that.
My mom, who is a librarian, got her a book journal. In this journal she can mark the book she has read who wrote it, and she gets to rate the book. I am going to have her translate this into a paragraph or two and post it in a blog.
In a few days I will update with a link to her blog. It will be under my control until she is old enough to maintain it herself. For now it will be fairly public (but anonymous in that her name and no pictures will be on it), but as I relinquish control then it will become far more private (readers will be required to register and seek permission to gain access).

Stay tuned for words from my little bookworm.

My TV Lineup.

This week fall programs started back up. Here's my quick take so far. (I know you were just itching to find out)

Monday:
House - still in the DVR, I usually wait to watch this with Paul. It's the end of baseball season so I need to wait until he's ready.
Lone Star - meh. Kind of a slow start. Reviewers loved it, I think it could become really fun to watch. It tanked in the ratings so it might not last long.
The Event- still in the DVR. I hear it's good. I'll get to it soon.

Tuesday:
Parenthood - love it. The cast is fabulous. Some of the females are a bit whiny, but it's a good time.

Wednesday:
Survivor - I've been watching it for so long that I can't seem to give it up. Last season was the best in years, this season isn't looking that good. The old versus young thing is kind of strange. But you have at least two looneys so maybe it could be fun. Seriously, who brings 1600 shoes to Survivor?!
Top Chef Just Deserts - not nearly as good as the original. All the males are whiny and pathetic and the girls aren't much better. I don't like watching people cry on reality tv it annoys me. Man UP!
Undercovers - haven't watch it yet.

Thursday:
Bones - Still in the DVR. the books are totally different from the show but both are fabulous. I do think the show has declined in recent seasons, we shall see if it can recover. The books are intense and technical, where the show is light and fun and a bit technical. I like both sides
Grey's Anatomy - after last seasons finale, I felt the open was a bit weak.
Private Practice - haven't watched.
Project Runway - don't like the ads for the show. It's a false sense of dread or something. The show itself is okay. I don't know why but I liked it better on Bravo. And Tim Gun looks sickly anymore (not that it matters).

And that's a wrap. Those are the shows I watch and record to watch. Currently Paul and I are working through Sopranos on DVD.
We also love How I met your mother, and will catch up with that on DVD. We look forward to checking out Boardwalk empire.
Also I like Weeds, Dexter, US of Tara, and Nurse Jackie. All of which air on showtime so we wait for the DVDs.

Is it a lot of tv? Yes it is. Do I care? Not really. Do I need it? Nope. Could I live without it? Yup. But I don't have to, this is my entertainment.

My time to relax.

When I was growing up television was very much a part of our lives. There was one in our living room, one in our kitchen and one in my parents room. It was on a lot and every night we'd have our shows to watch. Mornings was cartoon time, afternoons I don't think we had it on. Evenings it was the news followed by our shows we liked.
When I was a teenager my dad and I would sit and watch the darker shows together. X-files, Homicide, Law and Order. My sisters and I used to drive my dad crazy with 7th Heaven which butted up against monday night football (we wouldn't relinquish the main tv until after the show was all the way done).
When we were young there were 3 tvs in the house and some nights they were all going. One person would be huddled in the kitchen watching their show, one of my parents might be hiding in their room (we never went up there) and then the main tv would be going. In our house it was first come first serve (Unless my dad wanted to claim his rights). Now my brothers and I are out of the house but my two sisters live there. They each have a tv in their room.
(disclaimer: even though we watched a lot of tv I still remember being very active kids)
When Paul and I got married and moved in together we decided there would be no tv in our bedroom. Right now we have two televisions. One in the living room and one in the kids playroom.
The kids watch a little tv in the morning while I'm getting ready for the day (but not until they are dressed and ready to go). In the afternoon they get a movie (this replaced nap time) to help keep them calm and give them rest. There are days when they do watch too much tv and then there are days when it might be on for 10 minutes.
Clearly I don't come from an anti-tv camp. I do want it controlled by I am not against it. I think a bit of tv is harmless. For the kids, it sparks their imagination bringing characters to life. When they watch television they do calm down for a bit. This is good because my kids don't nap but still need a break, and they aren't smart enough to just sit and relax when they are tired. When my kids are tired they fight and get rammy.
I will say it now. I will fully admit it. I am a tv junkie. I have a DVR and it's loaded with shows. Tonight Grey's Anatomy airs its latest season and I can't wait. I know how pathetic that is. I get it. But it has become my escape at the end of the day. I put my kids to bed and I can sit for an hour or two and relax in front of the mind numbing shows.
I watch shows that have no redeeming value. I have a full line-up of things I want to watch. And the shows on premium channels? That's what netflix is for.
Feel free to judge me. Feel free to think less of me. I'm not apologetic.
I read books too. And again most of them are embarrassingly bad. Some are dirty. Most are thrillers. I don't read romance books, but I do read romantic thrillers.
I read them fast. And I am capable of going through a book in a day. I have read all of the Harry Potter books and a few of them while taking care of a newborn. I remember propping the book on the corner of the couch while holding baby and feeding with a bottle. Yup I am that kind of mom.
I can let a book get in the way of child care. But I haven't. I get obsessed. And I am fully aware of it.
These are my vices. My tv and my books.

Staying organized.

I don't pretend to have it all together. That would be lying. I do like to think that I have most of my life organized.
I've been running a household of 6 for four years (with the help of my husband). In that time I think I missed one doctors appointment. No bad, right?
My mother-in-law has a clock in every room. This used to make me laugh (who am I kidding it still does). Clocks are everywhere. She always knows what time it is. It turns out that her clocks are my calendars. In the kitchen I have three calendars up right now.
Calendar 1 - is on the side of the refrigerator. This one contains the meals we plan on eating for the week. We typically go food shopping on Saturdays. I have never been all that good at shopping with kids so we wait until the weekend when one parent can go with one child. So our food planning runs from Saturday to Friday. Friday night Paul and I mull over what we want to eat for the week. We consider what food items we have in the house and what is on sale. Most of our meat we buy in bulk at BJ's and that plays into what we are going to eat for the week. When food planning we consider the weather for grilling options and nighttime activities for early and easy meals. We frequently find ourselves putting the same things on the menu so we will regularly pull out the recipe books for new ideas, but with picky eaters we have to be careful about having too many adventurous meals in one week. (We don't cater to our children's pickiness but we also won't cook them out of dinner every night)
Calendars 2 and 3 are white boards. One is this month and one is next month. In the old house I had one white board mounted on the wall and attached was a paper calendar that showed the upcoming month. In my new house I have not found a good place to mount my calendar on the wall, so it sits on the kitchen desk. As part of a housewarming gift my mom got me a new one because the older one is kind of gross looking after years of use. For now I am using both of them when I figure out a good hanging place I will get rid of the old one and go back to my former system.
My white-board calendar is ridiculously organized. It's color-coded. Every person has a marker and I even went as far as marking the markers with the initials of each person. Everything goes on these calendars. Sports practices/games, doctors appointments, special events, even when the bigger kids are buying lunch. It's a rainbow of reminders, and I look at it all the time to ensure that I know where I am going and when.
My other calendar is my iphone and that too gets updated regularly. I have reminders built in so that while I am out and about I can't forget about certain events. My iphone also has tons of alarms programed. Alarms to get the kids on and off the bus, and the younger ones to and from pre-school. I am a very forgetful person so I set alarms for daily things so that I don't forget.

Staying organized is key to my success. It's not just keeping everything written on calendars. It's putting things away in places that make sense. It's sorting through the kids clothes every season (separating out the things they have outgrown from the things they might be able to wear again next year). From there I can see what they need versus what they have too much of.
It's getting a routine down and sticking with it. My kids bring a lot of papers home from school, daily, and I need to stay on top of all of it. I recycle completed assignments after reviewing them. I keep some art-work but not much. I hang it for a while then take it down when more comes home.
I respond to papers immediately rather than thinking I'll get to it later. Inevitably piles of papers show up places. On counters and desks and tables. My daily goal is to eliminate those piles as much as humanly possible.
The more I take care of these things the more I can relax. Clutter makes me stressed. And so being organized eliminates this clutter. I will say it again. I don't pretend to have it all together. I am the very real life model of Forgetful Jones. My house isn't even all that clean and uncluttered. There are still sewing materials out from a hemming project I did last week. But I still try to keep most everything as organized as I can. In my own imperfect way.
My daily goals include- not being late to an appointment and not forgetting something important (today I forgot to defrost the meat for dinner).
I am imperfect, but I'd like to think my system helps me overcome that.