the joy of listening

Two years ago I started an experiment with my kids. That experiment is still running. I was on a quest to see if I could tolerate audio books in the car. My commute to work is 20 minutes each way and I thought (after years of my mom-the-librarian singing their praises) that maybe I could work my way through a book or two and fill the time with something other than radio chatter.

The book I picked was Book 1 from the Chronicles of Narnia. What I learned was yes, I could listen to a book in the car. Yes, I would miss some parts of the story for the sake of driving safely, but I could enjoy the book just the same.

The thing about the experiment was the unintended consequences or side-effects. Four days a week I would pick up my kids from school and when I began the book I let it play out while they were in the car. Right away I was hammered with questions. So I stopped the book and told them all that happened so far. Then we listened to the story. On the third day, they asked me to "make the story wait for them" so they wouldn't miss any more. At the end of the week I realized something, the car was silent (save for the audio book).

When we finished the first book my kids begged for me to get the next one. And then the next one. And the one after that. Seven books over the course of weeks of driving from school to home, to church, to the store, anywhere we went the story played. The only rule was that all four kids have to be in the car in order to play the story. The car transitioned from a noisy, frustrating experience to a calm and quiet place. Order had been restored to my minivan.

A year and a half later and we are still at it. We have listened to the entire Chronicles of Narnia, The Sisters Grimm series, Harry Potter books 1-4, Lemony Snicket Books 1-3, The first two Percy Jackson books, Septimus Heap books 1-3, and many others. Every car ride is met with a story. Every car ride is as peaceful as can be.

There's something else happening that only took me a few months to figure out. My kids were becoming more and more excited about the stories. They would be crushed when the car turned off at the hight of the story, they would giggle about the funny parts, and best of all the began to speculate on what would happen next.

My kids love books. They love to read. They love to listen. But most of all I think they love to dive into the adventures with both feet. Josh (8) is not the strongest reader, but I am not worried. I'm not worried because he's the one who comes to me and talks about the stories we listen to. He tells me his favorite characters, what he thinks will happen next, he thinks about the words, processes the story and gets it. So he may not be a fluent reader, but the part that matters more is weather he understands what he reads. I think over time he will become a stronger reader, for now though he can still enjoy his stories.

They all can. They can enjoy the books. I can enjoy the peace. 

Reflections of a Mom and Teacher

It's been two years since the last time I visited my blog. I don't know how that happens but it does. So let's start with a quick update of what has happened in two years.

- Catherine and Joshua both wear glasses
- All kids love to read - though Josh is the hardest to find books for
- Discovered audio books are the key to quiet car rides
- Stephen, David, and Joshua all have received First Holy Communion
- Cat transitioned to Middle school
- We've been to Myrtle Beach, Disney, Cape May, and other small adventures along the way.
- I began Grad school, and am 1 year (3 classes) away from completion.
- I left my job at St. Mikes and now work as a Technology Facilitator for Southern Lehigh School District.
- Current ages of the kids Cat 11, Stephen 8, David 8, Joshua 8.

There is so much more that we have experienced but I can't remember it all. For now I want to explore some things that are on my mind.

Yesterday I took my kids to the Trexler Game Preserve. We didn't stay long because (as per my usual) I didn't plan very well and we got there late and had to leave early. I still in the 2 hours we were there learned a few things.

First I started the day with taking my kids to Mass. Cat and Steve are altar servers. These 8am masses can be seen as a burden, but I enjoy being "forced" to get up and go. I know I should make 8am masses a part of my regular routine, but I never seem to make it work. My kids service to church helps. Starting the day in prayer ought to make for a good day right?

Well we got home and Cat was cranky (she does not do well when you interrupt her sleep). We had breakfast and I asked Cat to go cool down in her room before we sort out our plans for the day. In need of space myself I retreated to the basement to work on some sewing projects. Whenever I sew my kids come and see what I am working on and ask questions.

Reflection 1 - What can be learned from sewing?
Cat had helped me make some neck pillows. When she began, I told her the first rule was to not worry about making mistakes. If it's a bad one we may have to start over but that's okay, because then you know better what to do. Most mistakes can be corrected along the way. Just keep going. When it's all done look back, what worked? what didn't work? what will you change?

Isn't that the way we should approach learning? Embrace your mistakes. Fail. Reflect. Try again. I feel as though teachers don't embrace failure as a good thing. Student's have too much pressure that they don't know how to fail. I'm not saying we should cheer a failing test grade. But if a student gets 10 math problems wrong in a row, can we not stop and say "Okay, something is missing. How can we fill in the gap?" rather than simply say, study harder you should have known those answers! Instead of allowing the child to feel bad about themselves, can we say it's okay, you can try again. Sure some accountability on the students part needs to exist, but it can't always be a pass fail mentality. I think there has to be a greater push on growth and success. That student will learn more and succeed if we stop and help them see their mistakes, embrace them, and learn from them.

As I was finishing up Cat came down to visit, she was frustrated because I allowed her brothers to help stuff some of the pillows (she wanted to do them all) while she was gone. I diverted and tasked her with logging her books for summer reading in preparation for a library trip.

Reflection 2 - Why I participate in the library summer program.
Every summer I truck my kids to the library. The select their books sometimes with reckless abandon, sometimes with great care. They run home and read logging their minutes as they go. The following week they return their books and grab the next stop. Before leaving they stop at the desk and ask for their prizes. Wait - What? Yep my library and most others bribe kids into summer reading. I don't know what the magic number is, but for every block of reading (we think it's between 1-2 hours) they get a prize. The prizes are crap, mike and ikes, silly putty, broken flashlights, stickers, etc but the kids love the crap they claim. They also stop at the puzzle desk to work through brain teasers for basket raffles.

I don't go for the bribes, but my kids do. See the thing is they are reading. I think it usually begins with them reading for the crap they will get, but in the end they read to see what will come of the story. Once the find the magic book they can't put it down. And that's why I am okay with the bribery. Because I'll come out of my room and find Stephen not watching TV but reading because he can't get enough of the story. I stopped caring if they are reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Captain Underpants, Little Women, or any other book. I only care that they are growing and learning through reading without even realizing it.

My kids school doesn't do required summer reading and I think I am okay with that. Books that are required are never as fun as books they want to read.

So, after I was done sewing for the day we had lunch. Then we packed up for the library and our hiking adventure. My first error of the day was thinking the library would go fast. It never does. After a while though they all had their books and prizes and we were ready to go.

Getting to Trexler Game Preserve was easy. Knowing what to do from there not so much. I have never hiked there and I looked at the website for five minutes before we left. Finding the main trail I asked the kids if they wanted to go left or right. As usual they were split 50/50. I elected go right, that meant uphill (and going back to the car would be downhill and easier later). Watching the clock we set off.

Right away each of my four kids had different reactions. The eldest decided she hates nature. The second child decided going uphill was the wrong choice (too much work). The third took off way ahead of us (as he always needs to be first). The fourth got deep. He begins to realize how beautiful the world is and how wrong it is to destroy the environment for cities. "Isn't it awful that we have taken away the animals homes to build cities?" Yep. I'm raising a nature hater (seriously, she walks past the recycling can to put paper in the trash), a lazy bum, a going-to-miss-the-world-because-he's-too-busy-trying-to-get-to-the-end-first kind of person, and a hippie.

We found a rest station, snacked up and discovered the park map. Realizing I'm running out of time and have no interest on staying on the 8.5 mile trail we turn back and head to car. I lead them to the Jordan Creek where they are free to stomp around in the water. Now they are all happy splashing in the water. After a time we head home so we can clean up and Cat and I head off to an appointment.

Later my kids pour over the copies of the map we brought home. They have already planned our next trip.

Reflection 3 - I could worry about the backslide for the upcoming school year. Will they remember their math facts? Will they remember how to write in cursive? Will they be ready in a few weeks to get back into the grind.

OR I can realize how much they are learning without text books and worksheets. My kids know how to read a map. One looked at the map and calculated how far we walked after we got home. They already started planning the next hike. They determined we should pack a lunch, and figured out the best way to carry said lunch so no one would get too tired.

My kids are learning. They are learning time management when they see how long things take and discuss the need to carve out more time for the activity. They are learning about the environment when they walk through a nature preserve, dump a bowl of waste in the composter, see the effects of rain on the house and in the yard. They are learning how to be adventurous in their reading, play, and other activities. They are growing in confidence when they jump off the diving board at the pool, ride their bike up and down the street, and create plays, videos or other pictures. They are learning people skills when deciding who gets to pick the next activity, dealing with an argument, or some other conflict arises.

They are learning by doing. And they are having fun. So they may need a refresher on handwriting, math, and other school tasks. But come September they will be smarter and wiser then they were in June.