waiting is the hardest part

As I write this I am waiting to hear from my big brother. Him and his wife are having their first baby today. This is my first niece/nephew. For my parents it's grandbaby #5. I am so excited for them and me as well. So here I sit, waiting. Waiting is tough. But it brings about great rewards. My brother opted not to find out the gender of the baby. This makes me so happy, I find it all the more exciting to not know. For my own children the first two I did not find out. The excitement of it all was fantastic. When will they make their arrival, will I be gifted with a son or daughter, what will they look like? I got so excited with each one at it was all worth the wait. Now when I got pregnant with the twins I "had to find out" it was all too overwhelming. You know what? It took away some of that magic. We named them before they were born, and we referred to them as the boys, but the excitement of unknowing was gone.

When I was a kid I used to snoop to find out what we were getting for Christmas. Sometimes I found things other times I didn't. As I got older, I got smarter. I realized that knowing wasn't any fun. That guessing and not knowing was more fun. I still flirt with trying to figure things out, but deep down I don't want to know until the time is right. This year on Christmas morning there was the big box, and my sisters and I were speculating whose it was and who it was for (my parents don't do name tags). So while I wanted to know before we started, I didn't pry to hard. I figured it was something for my brother and the new baby, guessing it was baby gear (which comes in huge boxes). It turns out I was wrong, the box was for Paul and I. My parents bought us a new TV. And we were totally shocked and thrilled with such a nice gift. Surprises are fun and good.

There are other things that I am waiting for too. Last night I ordered a new computer. Currently I have an ibook G4 and I love it. However, it's older and slower than I would like. So I ordered a refurbished desktop MAC. This will become the family computer. Not only will I have all the updated photo software, but I will be able to do more with the kids. I can buy some software for them to teach them typing skills and let them play games from time to time.

In other news, this coming Monday a real estate agent is coming to assess our house. Again I must wait until Monday, but that afternoon we will begin the process of selling our house and shopping for a new one. This is all so very exciting and overwhelming at the same time. I keep looking at the mountains of possessions we will have to pack or purge. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of work will go into getting this house market ready. I am overwhelmed by the daunting task of house hunting. And yet, I am excited by the notion of change. A new house means a new place to live. Something to make my own. We don't plan on going far from where we are, but that doesn't make it any less different. The biggest change of all will be going from the city life of shared walls, cramped backyards and walking to church, school and doctors, to a more suburban life. It will certainly be a huge adjustment. Again I am so very excited about this unknown adventure that lies before us. And I have to wait several days for it all to begin.

So I'm going to go do more laundry and feed the kiddies lunch all in an attempt to pass the time while I wait.