A week later and I'm still buried.

Well we made it.

We lived through our first full week in our new house. I can vouch for the whole house in saying that we are all so happy with the changes.

So far I have taken very few pictures. I am not a huge picture taker to begin with and as busy as I have been i haven't been near my camera. It's kinda lucky that I actually know were it is right now.

It has been a whirlwind of activity and really non-stop for the last two weeks. First, the packing up of the old place, then the moving, and now the unpacking.

I wanted to attack one room at a time but with six people living here we have been all over the place getting things done as we can.

Night 1 I did manage to get the essentials into bathrooms so that they could be functional. Day 2 the kids came home from their stay at grandparents house. By that night we had mattresses in rooms and some beds put together.

The first week we managed to get a lot done. I spent a great deal of energy in the kitchen unearthing as much as I could muster. Dishes, cups, napkins, cookware. After several days of eating out I wanted home cooked as fast as possible. By the end of the weekend we managed to get all of the beds put together and all but one piece of bedroom furniture where it belongs.

Being the techno people that we are the tv was set up by the end of our 3rd day here and the computer was up and running by the weekend.

This is our second weekend here, and we are just trudging through. Emptying one box at a time. Doing the best to get organized.

Moving bonanza

Dear City of Allentown,

In one weeks time I am moving out of your city. I live on a crowded street with dicey parking. So, in order to secure a spot for my moving truck I went to your Parking Authority office to get a sign that would allow me to save my space.

I was prepared to give you my $3 for the No Parking sign, but it was then that I was informed I needed a moving permit. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hi, I need a No Parking Sign so I can park a moving truck.

Parking Lady: Are you moving out or in?

Me: Out

PL: Okay, I need to see your moving permit.

Me: I need a permit?

PL: Yes, only if you are moving out of the city or within the city. If you were moving into the city then you wouldn't need one.

Me: Oh. Well, where can I get a moving permit?

PL: You'll need $3 and go to the Police building at 4th and court.

See, she was very nice and helpful. At this point I'm at 6th and Linden. It's 1:18pm and I need to be at Troxel school by 2pm for my son's speech therapy. I will barely have enough time to traipse through the crowded one-way streets to get it done. I decide I'll get the permit today and come back for the parking sign. I navigate over to 4th street, I am now out of loose change so I opt for your lovely new parking garage. I will now have to pay $1 to park for 15 minutes of time.

I wander around for a few seconds and finally find the hole in the ground that is your police station. For the next 5 minutes a cop behind the glass stares at me and plays with her thumbs while having a casual conversation with another cop. I am not waiting in line I am waiting at the empty window. After she is good and ready to deal with me, she comes over and asks me what I need. I inform her that I need a moving permit. Her response:

"I need $3 exact change." "No check?" "No"

And out I walk. I don't carry cash. I put Josh on my back and run back to the parking lot pay my $1 fee and drive out. I make it to speech at exactly 2:00pm. Josh runs into class in an attempt to conquer his stutter. I am left in the hallway to mull over the fact that I spent an hour navigating downtown Allentown and had nothing good come of it.

A moving permit? Only to move out!? I needed one to move into Upper Macungie. I thought it was silly then, but they gave me a welcome packet filled with all kinds of resources. I had to go to a nice clean municipal building where the people were very friendly. You sent me to the dank dungeon of the police building where your cop was less then friendly. And why exact change? Cash only? Thanks for making the simple more complicated.

I will try again today. This time I will have my money. I will have change for the meters. And I am sure your people will still ignore me for as long as they please. And on June 16 when we sign the papers and hand over the keys I will say goodbye with a grand smile.

Sincerely,

Me

Going to the Zoo

For the first time ever I did a day trip with my boys. Sure I go out a lot. I do library story times, and play group and park meets. But I have never tried anything like the zoo by myself. Now, let me be clear. The Lehigh Valley Zoo is not anything spectacular. It is small and simple. And yet, it can be a lot of fun.

The boys were very excited when they found out what we were doing. I packed them each a lunch in back-packs. The only one who was a fail was Josh's bag. I didn't have enough real backpacks so I tried to use one of those sports sacks. I think I need more backpacks.

LV Zoo was so empty that my guys could just run and play without bugging other people. Also, I didn't have to worry about losing them in a crowd. Of the three boys. I have one who stays with me, one who lags, and one runs ahead. And they often switch roles mid trip. So when a place is wide open I worry less and shout less for everyone to stay together.

The Animals at this zoo are a mix between the natives to the slightly exotic. And there were opportunities for the kids to get hands on with some of the animals. At one point they were in a bird cage where they could see the birds up close. If we paid more we could have cups of nectar and allow them to land on us (I chose not to do that). Below they are brushing the goats.

All in all it was a great way to spend a day with my boys. I told Catherine that we were going before she left for school. While she was disappointed to be missing out on the adventure, she understood that she would get other opportunities. When we came home I let Catherine see the pictures of the animals that we took and she has a few on her "side" of the computer. With her photo-editing software she can now animate the pictures and have lots of fun with them.

The pro's and cons

I haven't been on here in a while. My thoughts still buzz around my brain but I rarely give myself the time to sit and spill them out for my 4 followers.

Well my small little audience. I'm gonna dish.

We are moving. June 16 is our closing date. Though everything is happening fast in "real-estate" time, in my time things are going slow. The last few weeks have been nuts with negotiations, inspections, and addendum after addendum. I have sign my name more times than I can count. Used the scanner more times than I ever thought I would. So much paper, and email, and phone calls.

And now here we are. Packing. day by day filling up box after box. We reserved the truck. Started calling utility companies. So I am thinking about all the things I look forward to in my new house, and all of the things that I will leave behind.

Walkability

From our current house I can walk to most places. We walk to church on Sundays. The kids love it. They run, Paul hollers, I laugh. Since pre-school Catherine has been walking to and from school when the weather allows for it. I love the walks home because she tells me all about her day. The boys all look forward to those walks because it is a chance for them to run. The stop at every bug and go hunting for a stick they can carry with them.

In addition to Church and School their Doctors office is in walking distance. All of my kids are spring/summer babies and I loved walking them to those first well visits. It was great for me because it got me the exercise I needed and great for them because of the fresh air. I love taking newborns out into the sunshine. With a drugstore in the same building nothing could be more convenient for sick visits. When the receptionist asks: How soon can you be here? I always said 5 minutes. That's all it takes to bundle child up and drive the three blocks if I couldn't walk it.

Wawa is also walking and a pizza place right next door. Now, I won't lie. I never walked a pizza home, but I have ordered sandwiches and walked them home. How many times have I forgotten to get milk and walked over to grab some when Paul gets home? too many to count.

So, I will miss very much the walkablity of this old home.

Big Backyard

Currently we have a cramped backyard. And I maximized the space as much as possible with my gardening skills. I got into gardening the summer I carried Stephen. I found a great hobby and every year I look forward to choosing my seeds and figuring out what I can put in and where I will put it.

I will miss my strawberries. They are blooming now and taste divine. Last year I made jam for the first time. It was a crazy mess but it came out so yummy. I wanted to do it again this year but alas, most of my canning supplies are packed away.

I have worked well with what I have but I can't wait to have more. I already have a design in mind for my strawberry bed, and I look forward to getting Paul to build it for me (I smell a birthday gift idea). Our new place has so much yard space. This is something I really wanted. The kids will be able to run off their energy. We can get a swing set. They will have enough room to kick a soccer ball, hit a baseball and whatever else they desire. Maybe they won't kick balls into my strawberries anymore!

Midnight Trash Collection

I remember when we moved in and our neighbor told us to put our Trash and recycling out on Monday nights and trash only on Thursday nights. We assumed this was because they come early the next morning and putting it out at night avoided a morning rush. Well they came in the morning just a lot early then we could have ever imagined. Startled sometime around 2am Paul jumped out of bed to see what was up, only to find the trash truck doing the pickups. And for the next hour or so 3 more trucks came down the street. (1. Trash, 2. Yard Trash, 3. Glass plastic, 4. Newspaper/Paper)

7 years later and from time to time it still wakes me up. This week one of the trucks had squeaky breaks.

I will not miss this.

Garage

I have a detached garage right now. It has no doors. My new house will have a two-car attached garage, and I have every intention of using it. I know for the first few weeks it will be full of boxes. But That will only motivate me to get unpacked quickly. I have quite a few friends who don't park in their garages simply because the kids toys, garden stuff, and junk fill it up. I don't want that to be me. I want the convenience of not getting out of my car in the pouring rain, or freezing cold. A garage was not a required feature when house hunting. Especially not a two-car one, but now that we have one it will get used.

I can't wait to leave my old one behind for a bigger one. with doors.

Well there are lots more pros and cons but it's time for me to get back to work...

Thoughts in progress

In my blogging I have about 10 posts that I have started and not completed. I'm starting this one today, and I am going to post it in it's incompleteness (is that a word?).

Today I have this nagging feeling that I am nothing more than ordinary. Isn't that just awful?

That thought made me think of something else... 8 years ago I was winding up my spring semester at DeSales. I was preparing to graduate and at the end of the coming summer I would get married. I got married August 2002 and started working at Cardinal Brennan Jr/Sr HS two weeks after I married. Then by October I found out I was pregnant and the following May my daughter was born. That June we bought our first house.

So in 13 months time I graduated college, got married, moved from Paul's bachelor pad to a new apartment, started working a real job, had a baby, and bought a house. A whirlwind of a year to say the least.

It was either that first year or the second year at CB that one of my fellow teachers was griping about her idealistic daughter, who was at-risk of falling in love and wanting to marry. She went on to explain that she wouldn't deal with her daughter getting married so young and having kids right away. She simply couldn't allow for her daughter to be so foolish. After a while, I dared ask her how old her daughter was it turns out she was 24 (I think). At the time I was 23. So boldly I asked, Does that mean that I am foolish? This teacher stood up from the lunch table looked at me and said, absolutely! And then she left the room.

So was I a fool?

(to be continued, I have to take Son #1 to pre-school)

(several months later)

I will always feel sad for people who judge so harshly. I wasn't a fool. I am not a fool. well.... maybe sometimes. But when it comes to the decisions I have made that have landed me here. I don't regret a single one of them.

I'm going to be 30 next month. For some strange reason this is hitting me really hard. My sister-in-law spoke encouraging words saying how much she has loved the last 5 years of her life and they were so much better than her 20's.

My problem is I rocked it in my 20's I got married and had 4 awesome kids. She's doing all of that now in her 30's. I don't regret not waiting (and I don't guess she regrets waiting).

So that ordinary feeling continues to haunt me. I resist saying "I'm just a mom." But there are days where that's all I feel I am. Like today. I'm feeling it.

My name is ....

Mom
Stephen will say my name until I answer him verbally with a "what." He will say Mom about 100 times if that's what it takes. Then he will share his story with me.
At bedtime I whisper I love you to each of my children. Most of the time they come back with "I love you too Mom."
I love that name. I love hearing it from my children. I don't vividly remember the first time each of my kids said it, but I recall that feeling it gave me. The "yes, I am your mom, and it feels good to know that," feeling.

Being a mom is hard. You could have told me that before I had my first and it wouldn't have stopped me. It's one of those things that you have to experience to understand. I describe to you all of the challenges I have faced and will continue to face, but you won't/can't get it until you are facing them yourself. Yes, being a mom is hard. It takes a lot of sacrifice.

I am a mom... That realization still shocks me from time to time. I'm sitting there surrounded by four lovely kids and they are all calling me MOM.

October 2002: After being married on two months we find out that we are pregnant. Oh wow! The next several months are a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation.

May 17, 2003: After having contractions all night we called the Dr who said we should get ready to go to the hospital. I look at Paul and say: Okay, now I'm nervous.

It's true, I wasn't nervous one bit until it the moment had arrived. Until that moment all I had were some alien movements in my grotesquely misshapen body. I didn't have a fairytale reaction to pregnancy. I didn't coo over my growing tummy, I didn't cry over the ultrasound photos, I didn't talk to my belly thinking about my babe. I just rode the waves. I traveled through it and until the last 3 weeks I had zero complications. For me, it was just another day... But then that fateful moment arrived. A child was coming out of me and I was going to be its mother. Now, I'm scared.

May 18, 2003 3:30 am: My daughter Catherine arrived. She is mine to hold. Mine to care for. My responsibility. I am her mother, and no one else can lay claim to her.

As I said, I don't remember the day she or any of her brothers first said "mom." But that doesn't really matter now does it? They know who I am long before they can say it. Those late nights when we just gaze at each other through feedings. I'm not just a women with a bottle, I am their comfort. No one can calm my babe the way I can. How about when their eyes follow you around the room? Or when they cry when you step out of their field of vision? Yes, they know I am mother, long before they can say it.

And now, with my kids at 3s, 4, and 6 they can say it. Most of the time I hear my name in the most ordinary of fashions.

Mom, I'm hungry?

Mom!? Where are you?

Mom, can we watch a movie?

Then there's the whine...

mooooooom, I want....

mooooooooooom, can you please let me....

Sometimes they are mad.

But mom, that's not fair.

But mom I wanna

MOM!

Yup, it starts early and continues on. I have yet to hear "I hate you," and I pray for strength to handle it if that day comes. I also pray that my kids never feel the need to say it. Yes, they will be angry at me. Yes, we will fight. Yes, they will love me for it all.

Those bad days are minimal compared to the good ones. The good ones are filled with laughter and joy and affection (verbal and physical).

I marvel at being a mom... the power bestowed on me... the trust given... I have four souls to form... for beauties to love... to nurture.... I am a mom... and will be one until death...

(Disclaimer: I feel exclusive when writing this but only because I can't think and feel for my husband. When talking about the connectivity shared between my and my children I don't intend to exclude Paul. From my point of view he is as every bit as connected to our children as I am. Those late nights with infants? I didn't do them on my own. We took turns. When I say I am the only one who could comfort my child, really that includes Paul too. In fact, (here's a first confession) when the twins were born I felt a total disconnect from David. Josh nursed and Dave didn't so Paul took on D while I took on J for the night feeds (and daytime when he was home). David cried for months and it was Paul that stayed up with him, night after night. ANYWAY, these thoughts are mine on motherhood but I dare not say any of this to detract away from the beauty of fatherhood)

St. David's Day, St. Stephen and Jonah

What do these three things have in common? In most circles they have nothing to do with each other (unless you can prove me wrong). In my world it's what's shouting at me today.
First, on Facebook a friend of mine posted that it's St. David's day. Did I read the post? Nope. She posted from wikipedia and I can't read that website. Infact, for some reason I have major issues reading most things off of the computer screen (and I want an e-reader...). I think it's because of all of the extra jargon thrown in on websites. Wiki, for example, is filled with blue links, and side bars, and it is far too jumpy for me. The more crap on the page the less I can read it. ANYWAY, I have a Butler's here on my desk so I think I will explore St. David today (being that my son is David, though his name inspiration came from the OT David).
I almost grabbed my Butler's to look for inspiration for a Blog post when The Bible jumped into my hands instead. This edition is not my well used on and only has one holy card in it, which happens to be St. Stephen. And St. Stephen is sitting in Jonah.
SO I opened the Bible and landed on this:
Out of my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me; From the midst of the nether world I cried for help, and you heard my voice.
Hi God, how are you?
Sounds like your hearing me. Thanks for that.

To be honest... I am not feeling true distress. or maybe I am and just don't realize it. It's this whole selling the house thing.. It's getting to me already. Tomorrow will make 1 month that we've been on the market. We have had quite a few showings but no offers. I really want to get this done. I really want this house to be sold. I want to move on from here. I want the next house. I want the next chapter. I want to think about going back to work (which I won't do until after moving). I want to move on and I am feeling a bit stuck.
Last night I was looking at paint colors to paint the kitchen. I don't want to do it. Not because I like the current colors. I hate what I did to the kitchen. It's bright orange and yellow (which apparently is getting trendy?). I just don't want to put forth such a huge effort on a place I am trying to leave. And just what if I spend hours painting and someone buys the house and then repaints it anyway! How frustrating! Really, I don't want to do all this work for someone else to enjoy (or not).
And in the spirit of honesty, i don't want to take on this huge project by myself. Paul is not much of a painter, and I don't have anyone that I can ask to help. And really I need help in two places. 1. someone to take the kids and 2 someone to help with the painting. My kitchen is hugeish. There are lots of cabinets. Lot's of cleaning, sanding, priming, and painting. I'm burned out just thinking of it.
It's just too much. I really just need someone to go ahead and make an offer on the house before I start this painful process of painting...
So maybe I am stressed. God hears me... But I think I need to hear Him and let Him guide me on the right decision.