I remember when the first time Paul went back to work after the twins were home. I was terrified. Catherine was still in day-care but here I was at home with a 10 month old and 2 week-old infants. The only thing I remember was how scared I was to be on my own. Somehow I made it through the day. Then the week, then the month. Before I knew it we pulled Catherine back out of day-care and I was managing a household of 4 kids under the age of 3.
This is what I can tell you from the first year: I made it. We didn't always get out of the house. I didn't always get the dishes done before Paul came home from work. I did manage to get a shower in every day. I did manage to keep the kids well fed and clean. Year 1 wasn't pretty, but we survived it. In truth, after about 6 months I transitioned from surviving the days to living the days.
Every mom has days that they simply survive. But every mom needs to switch from surviving to living or they won't make it. That much I am sure of. The distinction is this: Surviving is going through the motions. The simple act of getting from point A (wake-up) to point B (bed-time). Living is actually breathing between point a and b, and maybe even enjoying some of it.
Fast forward from the first few weeks of trying to figure out my new life to the twins turning 1. This was a huge thing for me. I was learning how to love my life with my children. That summer we took our first family vacation. A 13+ hour road trip to Myrtle Beach SC. I can honestly say that the trip on a whole was a success. We found a way to have fun and relax. My parents and sister were a part of what made that trip work. There is no way that we would have went that far without them.
I think after that trip I knew that Paul and I were all right. We were in a place that was good. It was still challenging, but we were definitely moving forward. It was the fall of 2007 that things really started to shift again.
Catherine was 4 and it was time for pre-school. We decided on a 3 day/week program that was in the mornings. Our rationale for sending her was to help her learn to take direction from someone other than me. Granted, she had been through day-care but this was different. I saw this as the transition from home-life to school life. It was time for her to learn to work with kids her own age, and to learn how to handle the school structure.
That year, again, was challenging on me. I now had a 2 yr old and two 1 year olds that I had to manage to get out the door to get Catherine to pre-school. For the first time, we had a schedule that we had to keep. It was another shift in the family dynamic. We were overjoyed to be sending Catherine off to school. This was not because it got her out of the house, but because we (the parents) had helped form the child who was now ready to be away from us at school. Catherine blossomed under the guidance of her pre-school teacher. She grew exponentially in one short school year.
When that year came to an end I was so excited. My children were growing up right before my eyes. I was proud beyond measure that my child's school year went so well. I couldn't wait to do it again. We enjoyed the summer break and in the fall of 2008 we were at it again. This time it was full-day kindergarten. And somehow we landed Stephen in a state-funded pre-school for 3 year olds. My days were crazier then ever. We lived close enough to Catherine's school that I had to bring her and pick her up every day. Stephen's program was clear across the city. So every day I would drop Catherine off drive through the city and drop Stephen off. Spend the day with the twins, go get Stephen and then go get Catherine. Catherine was 5, Stephen 3, David and Joshua were 2. Because of the timing of everything nap-times became a thing of the past. (My trick to walking three small boys
)
Each year my kids get older and a new layer gets added to our routine. I can't say that I am sad that my kids are growing up. I'm excited and thrilled. I love what each new year brings. I love watching my daughter learn to read. I love watching Stephen mature and step away from his brothers to advance in his own way. I love watching David and Joshua grow and develop and discover their individuality.
When Stephen was 4 we ended back at the same pre-school Catherine was at (the state cancelled its funding for pre-school programs). David and Joshua just finished the same program (3 days a week a few hours each day). The pre-school teacher at the end of this year was gushing at how much fun she has had with my two boys. She commented on how much she's enjoyed watching them grow over the years. From little babies that could barely walk. To toddlers clinging at my legs, now to boys who are ready for the challenge of school.
I love it. I love all of it. In 2006 I was terrified that I wouldn't make it, that I would somehow fail as a parent. Within 6 months I knew that I couldn't really fail as a parent, but I had no idea what the end-point was. Now almost five years later I know that there is no end-point. I don't think it gets better with age, just different. You start off with this tiny ball of pink fuzz, that you ooh and ahh over. The first sign of communication is when they smile at you as a sign of recognition. You're heart melts at that fist smile, then leaps at the first laugh. It darn near breaks your heart the first time they say I love you and mean it. As they grow they become less attached to you and more eager to explore the world. The thing about it is, they always come back to you.
I've been a parent for eight years. It has not always been easy. But I can say with certainty that it has always brought me joy. Friday marks the end of another school year. Catherine finished second grade, Stephen kindergarten and David and Joshua pre-school. I am not sad to see the end of the year, instead I am filled with joy. I can't wait to start the summer fun, going to the movies, parks, vacation, and library days.
Come September I will be filled with joy once again. Not because I want my kids out the house, but because they have been made ready for another year of growth and discovery.
This is what I can tell you from the first year: I made it. We didn't always get out of the house. I didn't always get the dishes done before Paul came home from work. I did manage to get a shower in every day. I did manage to keep the kids well fed and clean. Year 1 wasn't pretty, but we survived it. In truth, after about 6 months I transitioned from surviving the days to living the days.
Every mom has days that they simply survive. But every mom needs to switch from surviving to living or they won't make it. That much I am sure of. The distinction is this: Surviving is going through the motions. The simple act of getting from point A (wake-up) to point B (bed-time). Living is actually breathing between point a and b, and maybe even enjoying some of it.
Fast forward from the first few weeks of trying to figure out my new life to the twins turning 1. This was a huge thing for me. I was learning how to love my life with my children. That summer we took our first family vacation. A 13+ hour road trip to Myrtle Beach SC. I can honestly say that the trip on a whole was a success. We found a way to have fun and relax. My parents and sister were a part of what made that trip work. There is no way that we would have went that far without them.
I think after that trip I knew that Paul and I were all right. We were in a place that was good. It was still challenging, but we were definitely moving forward. It was the fall of 2007 that things really started to shift again.
Catherine was 4 and it was time for pre-school. We decided on a 3 day/week program that was in the mornings. Our rationale for sending her was to help her learn to take direction from someone other than me. Granted, she had been through day-care but this was different. I saw this as the transition from home-life to school life. It was time for her to learn to work with kids her own age, and to learn how to handle the school structure.
That year, again, was challenging on me. I now had a 2 yr old and two 1 year olds that I had to manage to get out the door to get Catherine to pre-school. For the first time, we had a schedule that we had to keep. It was another shift in the family dynamic. We were overjoyed to be sending Catherine off to school. This was not because it got her out of the house, but because we (the parents) had helped form the child who was now ready to be away from us at school. Catherine blossomed under the guidance of her pre-school teacher. She grew exponentially in one short school year.
When that year came to an end I was so excited. My children were growing up right before my eyes. I was proud beyond measure that my child's school year went so well. I couldn't wait to do it again. We enjoyed the summer break and in the fall of 2008 we were at it again. This time it was full-day kindergarten. And somehow we landed Stephen in a state-funded pre-school for 3 year olds. My days were crazier then ever. We lived close enough to Catherine's school that I had to bring her and pick her up every day. Stephen's program was clear across the city. So every day I would drop Catherine off drive through the city and drop Stephen off. Spend the day with the twins, go get Stephen and then go get Catherine. Catherine was 5, Stephen 3, David and Joshua were 2. Because of the timing of everything nap-times became a thing of the past. (My trick to walking three small boys
)Each year my kids get older and a new layer gets added to our routine. I can't say that I am sad that my kids are growing up. I'm excited and thrilled. I love what each new year brings. I love watching my daughter learn to read. I love watching Stephen mature and step away from his brothers to advance in his own way. I love watching David and Joshua grow and develop and discover their individuality.
When Stephen was 4 we ended back at the same pre-school Catherine was at (the state cancelled its funding for pre-school programs). David and Joshua just finished the same program (3 days a week a few hours each day). The pre-school teacher at the end of this year was gushing at how much fun she has had with my two boys. She commented on how much she's enjoyed watching them grow over the years. From little babies that could barely walk. To toddlers clinging at my legs, now to boys who are ready for the challenge of school.
I love it. I love all of it. In 2006 I was terrified that I wouldn't make it, that I would somehow fail as a parent. Within 6 months I knew that I couldn't really fail as a parent, but I had no idea what the end-point was. Now almost five years later I know that there is no end-point. I don't think it gets better with age, just different. You start off with this tiny ball of pink fuzz, that you ooh and ahh over. The first sign of communication is when they smile at you as a sign of recognition. You're heart melts at that fist smile, then leaps at the first laugh. It darn near breaks your heart the first time they say I love you and mean it. As they grow they become less attached to you and more eager to explore the world. The thing about it is, they always come back to you.
I've been a parent for eight years. It has not always been easy. But I can say with certainty that it has always brought me joy. Friday marks the end of another school year. Catherine finished second grade, Stephen kindergarten and David and Joshua pre-school. I am not sad to see the end of the year, instead I am filled with joy. I can't wait to start the summer fun, going to the movies, parks, vacation, and library days.
Come September I will be filled with joy once again. Not because I want my kids out the house, but because they have been made ready for another year of growth and discovery.
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